45 miles per second | one-shots

As If It Was Our Last (Jensoo)

Old street lamps flickering every now and then paved the way ahead as soft, calm breeze greeted us through half-opened windows in a chilly autumn night. The usually busy and loud town fell into a comfortable silence under the midnight sky, and the shameful noise from the engine of my 2012 Chevy Silverado pick-up was the sole source of sound as we drive the evening away.

Lightly tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, I take a glance at the person in the passenger seat next to me. Her head comfortably leaning against the backrest as she watches through the window, letting the cool wind blow her hair away from her beautiful face. My lips tug upwards involuntarily. Never in my life have I been a reckless driver, but just how could I tear my eyes away from such an art?

Intoxicating.

That is what she is to me. We may have had a couple of drinks back at the party but that wasn't enough to make me drunk. Not even enough to make me as tipsy as I am now just by looking at her. She is the only alcohol that makes me dazed and makes everything in my system swirling like distant galaxies. She makes me high. And I love that kind of high.

"Did we really just ditch the party for this midnight drive, Chu?", I asked her with a soft smile when the silence hung still in the air.

She turns to me and reciprocated with a sheepish grin, her cheeks a faint shade of pink probably because of alcohol, "Are you suddenly regretting it now, Ms. Kim?"

I averted my gaze back on the road as we reached the intersection, carefully swerving the steering wheel to take a left turn, "No? But can you just remind me again why are we driving to this place...now?"

She didn't answer me until we came to a halt, reaching the destination. Hastily unbuckling her seatbelt, her hand was ready to open the car door before I could even turn off the engine, "Because I couldn't wait for tomorrow."

With the sheepish grin still playing on her lips, she rushed outside leaving me behind the walls of my old pick-up, smiling to myself like a teenage lovestruck fool. The things you do to me, Kim Jisoo.

"We don't have all the time in the world, Jen", I heard her yell just a few steps away from me, her voice resonating through the air, "Drag your lazy ass in here and chase me."

Same old girl I met in 7th grade. Demanding, blunt, but wise. Sure she's grown to be more beautiful, but she hasn't changed that much through the years. Still the same girl who loved to wake me up at 5 o'clock in the morning just to tell me her tomato plant grew an inch taller over night. The same girl who would greet every tree standing along the way to school because she thinks they're cool and she should pay some respect to them.

Still the same girl I have fallen inlove with and have poured my heart into.

Stepping outside, my skin was instantly met by cold air. It was almost the end of the season and winter is approaching. I should've brought my coat but I could care less about that now as Jisoo starts skipping into the huge wooden door of the structure standing aesthetically infront of us.

The church was visibly old but well-maintained. Its walls depict every significant period ever written in the town's history, and every sculpture speaks a thousand words.

I let my feet drag me into the huge wooden door where a certain brunette has disappeared into. If the exterior was already aesthetically pleasing, I would have to say the interior was literally breathtaking. Neatly mopped marble floors, gold carvings on the walls glimmering under the moonlight, and saying the altar was beautiful would be an understatement.

No wonder this is the one she chose. It's ethereal, like her.

"How was it? Beautiful?", she asks as she walks down the aisle towards me, a smile never leaving her face.

I picked up a couple of trimmed flowers from a ceramic vase and hands them to her as we met, "It was perfect."

She lets out a soft chuckle and takes my hand with her free hand, gently pulling me along the wide aisle towards the altar.

"Not as perfect as you are, though", I casually flirted like it's one thing I'm actually good at, and that earned me a light squeeze in the hand and a playful 'liar' from her.

"You sure know how to play with your words, flirt", she faces me as soon as we get to the other end of the aisle, her left arm hooking around my neck whilst the other one still clutching onto the flowers.

Her eyes glimmered under the moonlight and I mindlessly pull her close by her waist, "Except I'm not playing. I only say the truth and nothing but the truth."

I didn't notice if it was because of the alcohol, or because of the proximity that I feel lightheaded. Or maybe it was because of her heart-shaped lips curved into a sincere smile that matches her soft-plump cheeks. Perfect. I know she would never believe me but she was so damn perfect to me.

"I can't wait for tomorrow, Jen", she uttered just above my lips and started swaying us slowly, so gently as if we might break something if we increase our pace even just a bit.

"I can't wait to see you in that wedding dress", I replied as I tightened my hold on her, carefully leaning my forehead against hers with hazy, clouded eyes, "Bet you'd be the most beautiful bride in the universe."

She lets out a soft-low chuckle and it brings music to my ears. The more I stare into her beautiful brown orbs, the more I get intoxicated. Her soul was beautiful and I wanted to dive in, to swim into the abyss of her existence. She was the wave I wouldn't mind surfing even if it meant drowning.

I wouldn't mind drowning for Kim Jisoo.

I found the courage to reciprocate the smile that she was giving me. And I realized I lost track of when had I started giving smiles that never reach my eyes.

"And you'll be the most beautiful bride's maid in the universe", she whispers before leaning the side of her head on my chest.

I felt a pang inside me. One that is not sudden. One that was consistently piercing through my very soul that I hadn't realize it has become a part of me. It has become a part of who I am now. Pain sure knows how to go to the pit of your stomach and make damn sure it's the only thing you will ever feel.

Whoever said it was easy to fall inlove?

"He is one lucky man", I muttered under my breath, it was as if I was talking to myself, mocking my very existence for not having something I have wanted all my life.

But she embraced me. Her warm arms wrapped around me as if telling me that everything's going to be okay. Maybe not now. But eventually, it will. Eventually. Hopefully. "Love you, Jen", she whispers sincerely, and I managed not to choke on my words as an "I love you too" escapes my lips as a reply.

We stayed like that for god knows how long. Silently swaying our bodies in a music that never existed. A dance we created on our own. Heartbeats both racing but in completely different reasons. Maybe I had love her a little too much that what or wherever I will be, I know she took something from me that I can never get back.

So we danced, as I give everything up. With her face in my memory, and her soul in my past.

We danced. As if it was our last.