Chapter One

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Chapter One

Hannah

Today is the day I find out what is wrong with me. These past five months have been filled with excoriating pain throughout my body. It's hard to describe the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach that told me something was wrong with me. It was like when someone is looking at you, and you don't even have to look up to know. I had a hunch of what was going on with me, but I dare not say it out loud in case I jinxed it.

                  "Honey, we're going to be late now. Hurry up." Mom wasn't fazed. To her, it was just another doctor's appointment and I was "overacting," like I do everything. I may be seventeen, but to her, I knew nothing and was still in diapers. I followed her out to the family SUV and buckled up in the passenger seat.

                  It was a fairly nice day in Salem, which meant a slight drizzle and clouds that were thick and covered ninety percent of the sunrays. That's Oregon for you: raining with a slight chance of depression. I swear Oregon has the highest rate for suicide just because of the weather. Before I could rant more about the weather my phone vibrated from deep into the pockets of my boot cut jeans. I didn't have to look at the caller ID to know who it was, Cyler, my boyfriend since sixth grade.

                  "Have you left yet? I'm here. <3 –D." He was beyond adorable and cared so immensely for me. Cyler insisted on going with us to the hospital. My mom humored Cyler and let him go, but she didn't know what he knew. She didn't know that I had puked blood at his house; neither of them knew that that wasn't the first time or the last.

                  "On R way. B there Soon. <3 –H." He usually took the time to make fun of my use of grammar and lettering, but today he didn't. The streets blurred together and before I knew it mom pulled into a parking spot right in front of the door. It always bugged me when she did this because we weren't handicapped.

                  "I bet Cy is already here." She used it as a jab towards me. Rolling my eyes I sent a quick text to Cyler that we were here. I didn't call him Cy or Leer because he was Cyler and it was given to him for a reason, a purpose, for him to be Cyler. Mom didn't waste time waiting for me, clicking her heels aggressively as she waltzed over to the door. My lungs felt funny, yet I didn't bring it up.

~~

                  "So tell me what seems to be the matter, Heather?" I raised an eyebrow at the old man that claimed to have a Ph.D. in front of me. He had a handlebar mustache and white hair all over his body. His eyes at one time were blue but now blurred with cataracts. You would think he was the patient.

                  "Hannah." My mom corrected him and then went back to tapping her toe impatiently.

                  "What was that?" He asked rather loudly.

                  "HANNAH." My mom snapped at him.

                  "Um, my abdomen always hurts. And my back and even walking hurt my lungs. I also lost ten pounds and I didn't do anything to do that." I cracked my knuckles. "And I cough. A lot. I used to be a runner, but I quit because I uh just couldn't do it. I thought it was my asthma that came back." It was awkward with my mom looming over. I didn't want to tell her about the puking of blood because I hadn't told her about it.

                  "She lost weight because she doesn't eat." She crossed her arms over her chest as she told the Doctor this. He kept nodding with his hands folded in his lap.

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