"Might I remind the Captain- Agh!" Artirian lost his footing and nearly fell over in front of the Captain, who stood strong while the hulking airship at his command wobbled as if it were being piloted by a drunkard. The young boy picked himself up and flipped the short black hair from his face. "Ahem- Might I remind you, Captain, that you've already finished what was left in the Rum Room."
"Nay, ye might not remind him- me." The captain's imposing figure nearly matched the girth of his famed airship. "The Captain shall remind you, sir, that ye be worse than the howl of a thousand Phasesabre- Nay, ye be worse than the underbelly of me ship- NAY! Ye be worse than one hundred rum-less nights, soaring across the open air with nothing but the wind billowing about the fiery red hairs between my buttocks..." The massive man puffed his chest up and slapped row upon row of heroic medals he wore upon his Captain's garb.
"It would have cost you exactly zero Bits to not ever describe your pubic hair," A young lady's voice sighed from behind the duo. "And yet you've said it nonetheless. That's another hundred Incomebits coming from your paycheck. Call it a Derogatory Tax " The Captain turned to his newfound employer and winked. Artirian simply rolled his eyes at the girl, barely older than himself, and stood up for his Captain.
"A hundred bucks because he said buttocks? What kind of Princess can't even handle the word-"
"It's not just the word!" She stormed right up to Artirian, her light-brown ponytail bouncing all the way. She did not look like a princess to him, what with her pitch-black attire and leather-wrapped chestguard. "What happens when you hear words? When you think of them? Do they paint a picture in your mind? Of course, they do! The last thing I want in my mind is a picture of Captain's- Oh Gods... I just did it again."
Both the Captain and Artirian could not contain their laughter in front of their new boss. The Captain's laugh turned into a raging coughing fit that sent the airship into another bout of harsh wobbling. All of the green-tinted screens of the control room lit up with red warning signs as the airship began to slowly fly off course. There was a loud thud as the Captain dropped to the wooden floor in front of the control panel.
"You're the First Mate! Do something!" The bossy princess looked panicked as she called to Artirian. Without hesitation, she ran over to the Captain and started smacking his chest. Artirian took this time to slowly lift a finger and press a button on the panel's keyboard. "He's not breathing!"
Once again, Artirian rolled his eyes. He walked over calmly to the girl and the Captain. With a raised leg, he kicked the Captain twice in the gut until he started breathing again. The princess looked horrified while the Captain's face expressed deep confusion.
"Well, Ol' Karroway, ye've cheated death yet again." Captain Cassius Karroway patted himself on the back and resumed his role at the control panel. He studied the cloudless blue void depicted on the skyscreens with great fervor, ignorant to the younglings around him and the events that just happened.
"At this rate, Cap'n," Artirian closed the gap between him and Karroway. "You'll outlive Haethrone itself. Won't even have a planet to fly around, just space and stars. Won't even have to take orders from bratty princesses-"
"Wait..." The realization hit Karroway on the nose. "No princess means no cash... No cash means no rum. OH, GODS!" The hefty captain left his post again to grovel drunkenly at the feet of his young employer.
"Now, now Captain." The princess had a devilish grin pointed in Artirian's direction. "I am the Princess of Rum, Kinner Katar, here to ensure your pockets are lined enough for the finest of liquor." She wiped a few tears from the man's thick, flame-colored beard.
"Ye won't leave me dry- not a spell?" Cassius' frown blossomed into a smile filled with optimism. He shot back to his feet and saluted the girl. "Then I bare no fear for the future of the Damning Darling and her portly crew! With me at the helm and you at the treasury, none shall dare impede our path! I am Cassius Cruciford Karroway, esteemed Captain of the Damning Darling! All who oppose my crew and our fine ship shall- Oh Gods RED ALERT!"
The blaring tone of a hostile vessel began to sound off repeatedly throughout each deck of the ship. Artirian immediately swiped from screen to screen to search for the threat. Kinner shoved him out of the way and yelled for him to man the Flakguns until they both shifted their eyes to the same screen.
The top periscope camera was centered on a vessel much larger than the Darling. It's shining metallic exterior nearly distorted the image on the screen, but Artirian had seen the schematics for a craft such as this.
"It's a Mothercraft..." Artirian dropped his hands from the controls and looked at Princess Kinner. "I couldn't Flak that thing even if I tried. And I have tried before. The shrapnel just disintegrates within seconds of passing through their shield. We're under their thumb now, Princess."
"No- I can't go back to my kingdom. That's where they'll take me, I know it." She searched the Captain and his First Mate for any hope. She struck the Captain's weak point. "Two-thousand Bits. If we make it out alive, I'll transfer over Two-thousand Bits."
"Captain, we've tried this before-"
"O-REN!" The boom of Karroway's voice echoed deep within the chambers of Artirian's heart. "What did you just say?" Artirian flinched with confusion.
"...We've tried this before, Sir?"
"Before that." Karroway began rapidly tapping away at the control panel while simultaneously mashing random buttons on separate skyscreens.
"Captain...?" Artirian O-Ren had no idea what he was on about.
"Aye, that was the word I was waiting to hear. Captain." Karroway's eyes gleamed with drunken confidence. "Now man the damn Flakgun and if you so much as let up for one second, I'll make you organize the Topography Room."
Artirian was gone before the word 'Topography' slid its way into Captain's slurred speech.
"What should I do?" The princess had realized that reaching for her dagger was not going to help her in this situation.
"Find yourself a nice little corner, and prepare to pay me Two-thousand Bits."
YOU ARE READING
Aetherthrone Saga
AdventureAh, the Damning Darling- Captain Karroway's most prized airship throughout all of Haethrone. Actually, it was his only airship. Mostly because, like all pirates to ever exist, he spent most of his questing money on the finest and darkest rums ever t...
