The Phoenix and The Albatross Daydream

The Phoenix and The Albatross

To set the scene- this is a one shot fan fic based off of the lead couple in Erkenci Kus, Can and Sanem. This story is a day dream I had about what episode 40 might be about. If Sanem and Can split up in episode 39 and a year goes by and this is my premise for a possible reunion. This is my first fan fic attempt. I am not a professional - Be gentle!

Our story begins in the beautiful sea side town of Antalya, Turkey. Sanem is on the last leg of her book tour. One final stop in this tiny little paradise and she's on her way home after almost a year on the road. And what a year it has been - She's an overnight, international success. Women all over the world, of all ages and races, are coming together with shared dreams of Istanbul and exotic birds. She's feeling so happy and fulfilled, but at the same time empty and lonely. This has been a constant struggle for her for over a year and the closer she gets to Istanbul, the more turbulent she feels. And that's just the problem. So many feelings are swirling like a storm inside her. She used to fear storms, now she feels as if she is one.
He used to call her his little hurricane...

No. No, Sanem. Do not think about him.

She waved a hand in front of her face and looked out upon the sea, watching the boats travel by and the birds circle and call out overhead. She thought coming to the water might ease her spirit, her but it's only managed to stir her into a frenzy. Long dormant emotions battled for dominance inside of her. Excitement and terror. Hope and fear. Joy and Pain. Love and Loss. She thought she had conquered this; learned to control her emotions and keep it all under lock and key deep inside her. She knew going home would awaken the ghosts that drove her out to begin with. She knew it was dangerous for her precious sanity and fragile soul, but she also knew it was time. Something within her had finally healed enough to make her a little bit braver than she felt the day before. Maybe it was feeling Turkey beneath her feet again. Maybe with enough time and space she was finally ready to confront her demons and claim her home. And face down one handsome devil in particular. If that was even a possibility. She hadn't said his name in a year. She didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Her family and friends knew better than to bring him up when she checked in. She knew they didn't think she was strong enough and honestly she wasn't sure she was either. He had broken her heart 3 times. The last time nearly destroyed her. She barely survived. Getting over him was the hardest thing she ever had to do and she wasn't sure she could go through it all again. And knowing her - knowing him - there would always be AGAIN. So now she avoided his memory altogether and just focused on her career and writing. Deep down she knew she couldn't run forever and going home would test her resolve to not acknowledge his role in her life. Istanbul was all HIM to her now. The neighborhood. The store. The agency. The sea. The woods. The sky. Even her writing. He had invaded every part of her life and imprinted himself on all she knew, all she was. Which made the loss of him all the more devastating. Who was she without him? She had tried to cast him out, cleanse her body of his claiming, but he was in her soul now. A place where only he could get to and there was no exorcising his possession.
Sanem toyed with her long hair and smiled down at her summer dress. The loss she had experienced had effected her on a spiritual level. Everywhere she looked, all she saw was HIM . Her room, her clothes, her perfume, even her reflection. Part of her self restoration and rehabilation meant changing all that. The only way she could save her soul was to reset it. She packed away her lotions, her books, the albatross poster and note. She gave away her bottomless wardrobe her sister and the local neighborhood girls. She decided to let her hair grow wild and free. A shield and disguise she could get lost in. She had done her best to reinvent herself completely - mind, body and soul. Her mind was her own, she wouldn't think of him. Her body belonged to her, she could change her style and her hair and still belong only to herself. Her soul...her soul was another story. Her soul was still searching for its other half...would she ever settle for less? Would she ever feel complete without it?
She let out a long sigh and was just about to turn back for the bookstore when it happened....