It was late that night and Killian couldn't sleep. He laid there reading when his eyes slowly drifted over to the body sleeping next to him, face free of any troubles. Emma was lost in a peaceful dream so he turned the lights out and moved further into the sheets. A thought crept crosses his mind in his state of insomnia. If tomorrow never comes, would she ever doubt the way I feel about her in my heart; how much I loved her? Did I try in every way to show her everyday that she's my only one? And if my time on earth were through (he paused at the painful thought that occupied his mind next) and she were to face this world without me, is the love I gave her gonna be enough to last? After another long while came and gone he finally put his hand on Emma's shoulder and whispered as he shook her softly, "Emma, love?" She awoke still drowsy with sleep when her face dropped the once peaceful expression and turned to worry. It wasn't like Killian to wake her up in the middle of the night unless it was an emergency.
"Killian what's wrong? Are you ok?" she said as she held to him tight.
"Im fine Emma I just," he stammered, "I just wanted to tell you that I love you."
"I love you too." she replied as she gave him a kiss as she snuggled into him closer. "You sure everything is ok?" She could feel his smile against her skin. "Yes lass."
"Ok Killian." she sighed as they both fell back into a deep sleep.
The next thing he knew he was on the Jolly Roger when Milah and Liam appeared. Just before he could get to them they were gone and an evil looking man approached him as the sky turned black.
"What have you done to them!" The man only chuckled in return.
"Tell me!" Killian demanded.
"Patience pirate. They have vanished not because of me, but only due to the fact that never knew how much you loved them during there time here." Killian was overwhelmed with emotions. "No.."
"Ah but yes!" he snarked back, "You better not mess it up with this one!"
Emma suddenly appeared over the side of the boat hanging on for dear life while the waves crashed violently far below her. "EMMA!"
Killian shot up, still in shock from the nightmare. Upon hearing her name being screamed out as if she had been killed, Emma jumped to see Killian in his current state. "Killian?" Emma replied trying to calm him down as she put a reassuring hand on his arm. "Emma!" he exclaimed as he pulled her into a strong embrace. "I thought I lost you."
"Everything is ok, I'm right here," she whispered holding him close, "I was just a dream."
The nightmares continued as Killian was constantly reminded of his regrets. It seemed never ending to him until one morning when it suddenly changed. Emma and him were laying in bed when he felt himself floating up and without a sound was not in his body, but watching the scene in front of him. His Swan woke up to him cold and close to death next to her. She began to do everything she could to revive him, but all failed. She was crying above him in defeat when the ambulance came in.
"Emma! I'm right here! Emma just look at me!" he said franticly, but his words seem to pass through her. She looked straight through him. Was he really gone?
In the next moment he was in the hospital when Whale came out through the doors.
"Whale what's going on?" he too passed right through him as if he was a ghost.
"I'm sorry we did everything we could." he started and she fell apart. Killian did as well shaken by the realization that he was unable to comfort her, unable to make the pain go away because he was the pain. This really killed him deep inside. He couldn't bare to watch Emma like this anymore. The words he had failed repeating in his head,
"You better not mess it up with this one!" He ran back to their apartment and fell onto the couch. He was asleep in a matter of seconds too hurt to function.
As if nothing had ever happened Emma walked in the door awaking him. Adapting to his surroundings he began to remember what had just happened. Emma. Him. Ghost. Dead. Alone.
"Wake up Killian. We still have a lot to get done and the day is only half over." She walked over to the kitchen and started preparing lunch.
"You can see me?" he replied confused.
"Of course I can see you! What happened today?" Almost instantly Killian wrapped his arms around the blonde kissing her senseless when she pulled away. "I missed you too?"
"Emma I had the worst nightmare I have had in years, worse than the dreams happening recently. I died in my sleep and you were alone.." she stopped him with a kiss taking away all his worries at once.
"Gods I love you." he said between breaths as he peppered kiss everywhere he could while she giggled.
That was his final nightmare. His nights were not longer filled with regrets and his life felt complete. Everyday he told Emma how much he loved her and how he couldn't live a day without her. She defiantly would never doubt his feelings for her now.
There were far to many people in their tiny apartment later that Sunday for living room and kitchen seemed to be at its capacity. Maneuvering through the crowd with ease, Henry made his way over to Killian.
"Hey Killian I have a question for you."
"And I hopefully will have an answer" he replied smiling as he rummaged through the closet failing at trying to help Emma.
"I was just wondering, why do you tell mom how much you love her so much? I mean I know you are in love, but seems a little much even for you two."
"Well lad," he began getting more serious, "I've lost loved ones in my life who never knew how much I loved them. Now I live with this regret that my true feeling were never revealed to them so I made a promise to myself to say each day how much she means to me and avoid that circumstance where there is no second chance to tell her how I feel. Do you understand?" As if a lightbulb went off in his head his eyes went bright. "Yes that makes perfect sense! Sorry Killian I have to go." On his way out the door Henry nearly ran into Emma only to retrace his steps to hug his mother tight.
"I love you so much mom." And like that he was off again. Killian made his way over to her.
"Hello love," he said, "found it" he said proudly raising the large serving dish.
"Thank you Killian. Don't know what I would do without you" she replied taking his offered arm.
"Well lucky for you, you won't have to find out anytime soon."
"I love you Killian."
"I love you too Swan" he said pulling her into a kiss, but not just any kiss, true loves kiss. He was certain she knew now how much.
YOU ARE READING
If Tomorrow Never Comes
FanfictionKillian worries that when he's gone Emma won't know how much he loved her. Based on the song "If Tomorrow Never Comes" by Garth Brooks. Captain Swan with a little bit of Captain Cobra.