Love Island

18. My Happy Ending

Day 36
Couples:
Asher and Taylor
Faye and Noah
Jodie and Kyle
Liliana and Dougie
Sophie and Shayne
Violetta and James
Zoe and Alex

"Hey look," I say to James as I point to where Zoe and Alex are sitting. "Do you remember when they were coupled up right at the beginning?" I ask with a smile on my face, loving the fact that it's gone full circle with those two. "Other people kept getting in the way of them being together, but it looks like they're a little more than just friends now."

"They finally got their happy ending." He comments, and that phrase, happy ending, it reminds me of when I was crying on the balcony with Asher, Dougie and Jodie. And they were trying to convince me that James was my happy ending, but I wasn't having any of it. I was adamant that they were wrong and that happy endings aren't what they think they'll be. I guess I was the one that was wrong. "What?" James questions, snapping me back to reality. "What are you smiling at?"

"Nothing." I reply unconvincingly, a small smile still on my face. "I was wondering," I start, turning towards him, our faces inches apart. "What would you class as a happy ending? How would you know what it is?"

"It's something," He starts to say, thinking as he speaks; trying to figure out how to answer that question. "actually, I don't know how to explain it. All I know is that I'm terrified to lose it."

"Well think about it this way, if you're scared of losing it, it means your one of the rare, lucky few who have actually found it." He smiles at my words, and it's like I can read his mind because I know exactly what he's thinking. That's why it's no surprise when his lips softly meet mine, mentally telling me that I'm the one he's scared of losing. I'm his happy ending. "I love you." I whisper as our lips start to separate.

"I love you too." He whispers back. And in this moment, I realise that I've never loved anyone as much as I've loved him. I've never even been in love before, but I've felt the love I have for my beautiful little girl, and I love him just as much. And that's how I know that what we have is real.

That's when the words just slip out of my mouth, and I don't even realise I've said it until it's already been said. "Will you be my boyfriend?" I can't take what I've said back, but I wouldn't want to take it back. He's all I want.

And I don't even have to hear his answer, because his smile makes it easy to know what he's going to say. "Of course." His smile grows wider as he says the next part, "you know, you took the words right out of my mouth. I was just about to ask you the same thing."

"For me to be your boyfriend?" I joke, giggling as I say it, which causes him to laugh. I know this is supposed to be a serious moment, but I couldn't help cracking a joke.

"you know what I mean." He laughs in response. "God sake, you're a nightmare."

"But you love me anyway." I smirk. And it dawns on me that I haven't acted like this in a long time. He's brought out the side of me that I haven't been able to express in such a long time. I've always felt the need to act mature and grown up; whether that's because I'm taking care of my mum, or because I have to be a good mum for Sofia. I haven't been able to be the real me in such a long time, and I can't thank him enough for giving me that gift.

"I love you more than you'll ever know." He tells me. But I do know, now I understand just how much he loves me.

~*~

"I need your advice." I say to Asher, as we lie next to each other on the sun beds.

"Okay, hit me." She says instantly, always ready to help a friend in need.

I don't start explaining straight away, instead, I look around for Dougie. I spot him next to the pool with some of the other guys, and instantly shout for him. "Dougie!" I gesture for him to come over, and he does so instantly. "I need both of you. A girl and a guys perspective."

"Okay..." Dougie says, waiting for me to explain.

"There's something I haven't told anyone, not even James. And I was wondering if it was the right time to tell him." I start to explain, "It's something that I don't even tell the people back home, the fact that I have a daughter is nothing in comparison."

Asher doesn't say anything, she simply places her hand on top of mine, signalling that there's nothing I could say that would stop her from standing by my side. Then Dougie replies, "as long as you're not a serial killer."

This causes me to laugh a little bit, but the laugh fades when I realise how real this is. I'm about to reveal my biggest secret. "Obviously I'm not the same person I was when I first got here, back at home I always had to act responsibly, and now I've learnt how to actually have fun."

"Vee," Asher starts, "where are you going with this?"

"The reason I have to be ultra responsible at home isn't because I have to look after my daughter," I explain, getting ready to tell them the truth, "It's because I have to look after my mum." As soon as I say this, I realise that they have no idea what I'm going on about, and I'm not surprised, I'm not really making much sense right now. "My mum has sever bipolar disorder, so bad that she has to get ECT to control her mood swings, otherwise she's dangerous to be around."

"What's ECT?" Dougie asks, utterly confused.

"Electroconvulsive therapy." I say, knowing fully well that it doesn't clear anything up for them. "It's a procedure where an electric current is sent through her brain. But it causes her to be constantly confused and disorientated, like she doesn't know who anyone is." Then I get to the point I was trying to make at the start of the conversation. "But the reason she's like this...the thing that caused it..." I really can't bring myself to admit it, but I know I have to. "Is because my younger brother passed away when he was four, he had a really bad seizure in our garden, and my mum relives it pretty much everyday."

I can't explain any more, because my throat wont allow me to. The words just wont come out, and now I've completely broken down. And I feel both Asher and Dougie's arms around me, comforting me as best as they can. I really don't know what I've done to deserve friends like them. I used to think that I must have done some horrible things in my childhood and God was taking it out on me when I grew older, giving me the life that I have. But somewhere along the line I must have done something miraculous to get friends like these, a daughter that I love more than words can express, and the most amazing boyfriend in the world.