There Lilith was on the floor slowly she knew she was losing her mind, but she couldn't understand why or how. A man bent over her casting a dark shadow over her body. It felt as if an eternal darkness was going to devour her body." Why do you do this to yourself Lilith." "Why do you do this to yourself, to me!" He soon lost his voice to the tears draining his ability to function without a hopeless feeling making his stomach feel raw. She wondered what he was talking about, where she was, why she was. This man begged her to get up and help him not lose his mind soon, because he didn't have the strength to live without her. She couldn't bear to break anothers heart someone she loved so dearly for so long. So she promised herself to try, really try but she couldn't believe the feeling she had within a limpness that irritated her every nerve. She soon found that every attempt to free herself from this curse of almost parylazation was a dead end to another scramble and moan across the floor.
It was her first day at Linkins high school and Lilith promised herself to make friends, to be the person not always sitting in the corner with wide eyes. As this was happening she hadn't even been to this mysterious building yet, she had been prepping herself in the mirror not yet but almost ready to face the world in a new day. She took one last look in the mirror and promised to make a good impression on her fellow members of Linkins High. Lilith sighed , with heavy shoulders dropping any past tenseness and then walked to her backpack. She couldn't help but wonder that maybe she was worrying to much about herself. As she put the huge backpack on her thimble shoulders she looked down at her nightstand and saw a note, it had been sitting there for years a dry almost decayed note unopened. She knew she had a tickling temptation to open it, although she wanted to open the note she had waited so long and could not break her promise yet. It had to wait 4 more months, 4 long months. She rushed to the kitchen after temptation almost won over her hand capability; her hand was half way to the note before she yanked it back and felt a shiver that rang in her arm. She walked to the refrigerator and snagged an apple to put in her lunch box. Right when she was heading out to drive to school a voice made her jump(and force her heart to skip a beat). "Huh?" She barked before she could think, "Oh sorry Aunt Lizzie, hmmph didn't see you there".
" Sweetheart it's your first day at this school, don't I get a hug or something for hmm I don't know raising you and putting you in school since you were five" Lilith rolled her glistening hazel eyes and slowly walked over with arms belled for a hug. "I don't know how to do it, I mean just go to a different school and pretend like I am happy" she couldn't help but chuckle wheezily . Once her aunt was satisfied with her hug she let go and went back to bed considering she was wearing a Robe and slippers. As Lilith was shutting the door she turned back over her shoulder just hoping her aunt would be standing there looking at Lilith smiling telling her good luck like a normal "mom" but all she got was the back of a robe almost gone. She told herself she didn't even care, even though she knew deep down that meant the world to her ( a little love given to her not love that was forced to be given to her by her aunt). She slammed the door as a small tear trickled down her cheek and almost made her burst into tears but she couldn't let emotion have any effect on her, she had to be tough for her own good. Lilith knew she couldn't let her guard down again by a stupid emotion, "Why did I listen to my emotions last time?"
As she walked down the soaken wet pavement she looked down regretting the choice to even look back threw that horrible wooden way to enter her home. Lilith had soon realized she forgot her sneakers for P.E, but didn't even want to go back home"Why can't I just leave forever?", she whispered to herself harshly and jumped in her red beaten down truck. There she was on an empty quiet road alone with her thoughts,but knew she couldn't even think without making her regret living so long bringing herself down. So she sat, alone, with a wish to just end it all now, she was envious of those who could. She just thought about that tree at the end of the road, the tree that had called her name and made her feel free of tenseness. She had promised to keep going ,she had one person that sort of cared about her and that was the bad part about her, she was soft she couldn't bear to hurt another living thing ever.
"Okay, well at least I have music the one thing that truly calms my soul.", on went what felt like a long moment of static then a song played talking about women with inner peace. She tried but couldn't have imagined what that could have possibly felt like for she had a soul of uneven feelings. So she went down the road, did all of the turns and stops until her dreaded destination was reached, Linkins High. And once her eyes landed on the huge building she let out an unsolvable sigh and had an odd tingly feeling throughout her muscles. "Well here it is the building that everything depends on.", why had she come here; she didn't want to be like everyone else, the down kid that doesn't care about her future, because she wanted a good future, a good life where she could find herself. By telling herself that she had enough strength to get out of the truck and start her path on the pavement. As she looked around she saw mainly the same thing as any stereotypical high school movie; first it was the jocks wearing fine leather jackets, the "plastics", the nerds, and don't cares( Long hair, monotone voices). Even though the drill in every movie was find your group she didn't want to do that just get though school without trouble, thus her long journey began.
She decided she to look back down at the pavement to make sure she wouldn't grab any attention. So she didn't, and just kept going to where the pavement led to, a big building that couldn't be anything but true insanity. Unfortunately she knew she had to go through the doors to see what her future depended on. All she saw was a crowded hallway with what seemed like hundreds of kids going in one direction pushing and shoving, but from what she saw there was no other way to get to her first class without doing the same. As she went through the hall, at one point thought she was going to be suffocated by four people pushing her at once. Once the huge wave of children had brought her to her first class, biology, she took a long, deep breath and walked in searching for a seat that would suit her passion for quiet.
Ahh, there it was a dark seat in the corner just making her think somehow she might get through this class. " Excuse me miss,umm, Boughtin?" Oh god she thought as she wanted that tree there right now just to ram herself into it, because that would've been way better than what was about to happen." Yes sir, what is the problem?" She already hated everyone that had stared at her like they didn't have a nerve in their body to make them move. He turned and said the worst possible thing that could've played out at that moment," Why don't you introduce yourself to the class?". Ahhh, she felt like a thousand daggers shot into her skin that make her flinch and look like a complete and utter idiot.
She stooped down a little more than she was already doing, and walked over to the front of the class wanting to just run out of the school to her music. She swiped her hair behind her ear to to look down at her feet, where she could hear weak laughs and people staring at her now twitching body," Hello, my name is Lilith and, umm I like school, I guess." She sped to her new seat, worried that her act was already being uncovered by these imbiciles.
