Coming Clean

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

An hour later, we head out to my car. I go to get in the back and Kozik says "No. You ride up front." I smile and get into the passenger seat already deciding to let Happy drive. Once we are on the road, Kozik asks, "What should I expect?" I look at him and tell him "At these meetings, you only use first names. No last names, ever. What's your first name?" I asked. "Herman." he says. "Okay. That's the only thing they will know you by. When people share they get up and say something like 'Hi I'm Randi and I'm an addict.' And then they say how they got started using and what they've gone through. After that first time sharing, each time after that, they tell what they've been dealing with since their last share and how they got through it." I tell him and he nods.

Three hours later, we get to the church where the meeting was being held, I look at Happy and say "The hotel is just around the corner. Your name is listed so if you want to check us in and hang out. I'll call you when we're done." I say and he nods. We get out of the car and head inside. He stops and just looks at the church. "It's been a long time since I have been in a church." he says. "You'll be fine. I'll be here by your side the entire time." I tell him. We walk inside and take our seats. A few people get up to share and I feel Kozik reach over and take my hand. Knowing he needs that reassurance, I squeeze his hand and let him know I am there. "Do you want to share?" I whispered. "Yeah. Might as well get it over with." He tells me. I smile and say "I'm right here." He gets up and walks to the front. "Hi. I'm Herman and I'm an addict. I've been sober for nine days and it's been a rough nine days but I'm getting there. I have family and friends to help me through it but I know it won't be easy. I guess I started using almost a year ago. I started seeing this girl and her brother was a dealer. Crank. She talked me into using and before I knew it, that high was all I could think about. It started consuming every part of me. A good friend of mine found out that I was using and helped me get the help I needed to get clean. Now to stay clean. It won't be easy but I have my support system in place and my sponsor by my side, even here today, so I know I can beat this. Just take it a day at a time. Thank you." he says before coming back and sitting next to me. Taking his hand in mine, I lean into him and say "I'm proud of you." He smiles at me and squeezes my hand.

Leaving the meeting, I take out my phone to call Happy. "Let's walk. I could use some air." I shoot Happy a text telling him that we are walking and he texts me the room number. As we walk, he speaks. "Thank you for this. For helping me." he says. "My pleasure. This is why I chose this career. I want to help people." I tell him. "You're a good woman, you know. What's your Old Man think about you spending weeks with another man?" he asked. "I don't have an Old Man. This line of work doesn't leave me much chance to get out and date." I tell him. "That's a shame." he says simply. We get to the hotel and head up to our room. Knocking on the door, Happy lets us in and asks "How'd it go?" Kozik looks at him and says "I think it went good." Happy looks at me and I nod my head yes, letting him know it did go well. "I'm gonna shower." Kozik says. Happy and I head out to the balcony so he can smoke and he asks. "How's he doing?" I sigh and say "He's doing better. He actually shared which is a good sign. I think he's going to be okay but he's still got a long road ahead of him." I tell him. "You know we all appreciate everything you've done for him." he says. "Thanks. I'm just glad that I was able to help him. He's a sweet guy." I say and Happy looks at me and smirks. "What?" I asked. "You into him?" he asked. "Happy. He's a patient. I just want to help him get past this." I tell him, looking out at the overlook. Am I into him? He's sweet. And really nice looking. But guys that good looking don't go after plain Janes like me. Sitting down in one of the chairs on the balcony, Happy finishes his smoke and heads inside, leaving me to my thoughts.

I sat out there for a little while and Kozik walks out there with me. "Hey." he says. I look up at him and say "Hey." He takes the seat next to me and we just sit there. "I would really like to do something to thank you for this." he says. "You don't have to thank me Koz. I'm glad I could help." I tell him before looking back out at our view. "Once I'm better, can I take you out?" he asked without looking at me. I sit silent for a minute and finally say "I'll make you a deal. You get your six month chip, and you can take me out to celebrate." He smiles brightly and says "It's a deal."