Life felt worthless
At thirteen,
When adjusting to a new world
After leaving the one you spent
Your whole life in
Seemed like the end.
It seemed like
The beginning of the end
When darkness engulfs my head
During sleepless nights
And when my right hand
Had a life of its own
That hated my left arm so much
It sliced it to form
A shit ton of bleeding smiles.
It seemed like
The beginning of the end
And I wished I finally
Get to the end.
But then
Someone reminds me
Of my God
Of my family
Of my friends
Of my GOD--
And I fight
And I try to swim
When I thought I was going
To let myslef drown.
And they fight
Alongside of me.
Life is normal
At sixteen.
Two days before Christmas
Rain pours down my window
As I reminisce--
As I write--
As my grandmother yells for me
To go downstairs--
As the smell of hotdog fills my nostrils.
I look around and feel happy about
My material things--
My books and my growing collection of anime merch.
But even more so, I feel happy about
The family waiting for me downstairs.
It was not the beginning of the end.
It was, I tell my thirteen-year-old self,
The end of the beginning
And watch out, I tell the world
Because the thing with me is that
I start everything
With a bang.
YOU ARE READING
hiraeth. //
Poetryhiraeth (n.) a homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was. //lowercase intended.//
