Life's a BITCH

Let's Begin

Hi, my name is Jazmin Fukalele. I am from the Islands. I was born there, brought here when I turned 12. I have been in the US for about 4 years. I am writing this book, note, info, whatever you may call it, but it's about my whole life, and how it fell apart at the moment I was born.

In 2003. A little black, chubby baby was born, it was girl, just to make sure. That was me, by the way, if you start just started reading here. Anyway, my mother didn't plan me, or the other way around, I was just not meant to be born. But when I, stupid me, decided to touch my mother's egg first, I was born a burden. My mother was just starting her life, she had a secure job, she was enjoying life, until that one night when she enjoyed it too much, that she and my father... Well, you get the picture. So when I was born, my mother couldn't afford another human being, so an aunt, who is actually my mother's stepsister, but we don't look at it that way, there is two of them. So one of them and their husband took me in, they already had a daughter, her name was Jolina. I felt at home because I grew up with them. They were my main family. I call them mommy and daddy instead of aunt and uncle, till this day. My mommy sadly has left us and has joined the angels in heaven.

So I was growing up with them for about 6 years, mom came and visit, sometime she would stay for a month or weeks. But when I turned 6, So then my uncle, who is the second oldest in the family, took me away from them, that day when they took me away from them, I threw tantrum, I didn't want to leave my family. My aunt whipped me, smacked me because I wouldn't listen, I wouldn't come out from my room, and I would just cry missing my family. But then I coped with it, then I never got to see them again, only on a special occasion. SO I went to first grade with my aunt and uncle. Then after first grade, I just had finished the year. My aunt decided to send me back to my real mother. So then I was shipped to another Island called "Vanua Levu" I reached there. To be honest with you I felt like a stranger. I was not raised by my real mother, we only call or she came to visit a couple of times and that was it. SO when I came to her, I felt a distance from her.

I gave her such a bad time for the two years I was with her. I was a horrible child. I didn't listen, help or just be a good daughter. I was a piece of work. I was with her for 2nd and 3rd grade. Then one day my mother told me that I was going back to "Viti Levu" that's where everyone was, where I was born. So then next thing you know I am on the boat going back. I was going back to another aunt. She is the wife of the second youngest in the family. So they took me in, there I felt at home, I started warming up to them. I still remember how my aunt would cut my apples for a snack and how my uncle would help me with my bike, he just used to push me, cause I was lazy to paddle, even though it was a three-wheeled bicycle. That moment I realized that they were my family. I told myself "You found it, Fina, this is your family now" but then just after I finished school again after I finished 4th grade, I was taken away from them, again. That time I couldn't take it anymore, it was too much for me.

Then I was sent back to the uncle and aunt who were the oldest in the family. I went to them to start 5th grade. So while I was there, I was abused, I don't blame the women, first, she has blood pressure, and I wasn't that good of a child either.  So I lived with them for about two years.  They cared for me, but more for there dogs, lol.  They had a lot of dogs.  They had a son, technically a grandson, but he was like there son.  He was handsome, nice, friendly and caring.  But, uncle and aunty expected more from him.  They didn't look for his personality, they just looked at his grades and everything that involves academics.  Of course, they will, it's a parent's job to do that, but they were too hard on him.  But he made it through.  Now his in an all-boys school, and I hope that he is enjoying his time.  He is so grown up, I saw some of his pics from this year, and he has grown into an amazing, friend, cousin, brother and son.  

When I was in 6th grade.  One morning at home, I woke up and I made my bed did everything that I needed to do, except get into my uniform, I was finishing up my morning chores.  Then suddenly, I heard my aunt screaming my name "FINA!, FINA!" she yelled.  I ran over to her.  She was in their shop.  They had a very successful shop.  "You are opening up," she said, "Nei, I have to go, or I will miss the bus" I replied, "No, I need you to open up, you can take the 8 bus," she said.  But school started at about 7:45 am, I pretty sure.  "But aunty, I don't want to be late for school" I replied again, and she didn't like talkbacks.  I could see she was burning up already, I was about to run when she pulled my shirt collar and pulled me back and she was next to the tuna shelf.  She grabbed one and started banging it on my head, at first it was hurting, then I felt a drop of blood drip down on the side of my head. Then I pulled with all my might, out of her grip.  I ran to the bathroom.  And mine and my cousin's bathroom was on the other side of the house.  So ran there, I opened the bathroom door.  I walked in and looked at the mirror, and saw the blood.  Then for a moment, I stared at myself.  Thinking, what is your purpose, why are you alive.  What's the point, you're gonna get to move to another family again, or just back to mother, or aunty, then they'll move you again.  I walked out and sobbed and sobbed.  I was sitting in the doorway, of the passage.  Then I heard a footstep. I was scared out of my life thinking, what is she gonna do to me now.  I wiped my tears and turned around to see...

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