OneShots_BTS

Grease

       Hello. I have been in this community some time, but only recently I decided to put some of my works here. I have been posting these works on Amino. I hope you all will like it.
Lyrics from (in bold&italics): Kim Jonghyun - Grease

*Trigger Warning* The story has depressive and suicidal themes *Trigger Warning*
_______________________________
Black grease stain
It won't come out, it's just like you
I was having a lunch break and casually talking with my friends. We were talking about composing music about youth and how will promote our next upcoming album, but deep down, the talk never touched my soul. I didn't like what I was doing. I hated every bit of it what I have been doing. My phone vibrated in pocket. I casually said 'sorry', and looked at the sender ID. It was you.
'Ne, Oppa? Are we meeting up?'
'No. Don't you understand that relationship we had ended month back? Why you keep texting me? Asking me how I am and do I wanna meet up. Why? You always reply 'because friends do that!'. No, they don't. Why then my friends I am here with don't do that? Why are you so attached to me? I am nothing...'
I was thinking of reply, that politely would say 'no', but there was none in my head at that moment. And I though, maybe I should ignore you. So I place my phone in pocket and turn my attention to my friends, bandmates and family. Making my usual happy face, I tried to change subject to something that would make me forget about you. And I succeeded.

There's black stuff
All over your white shirt
It makes me feel gross (gross)
I found time to meet you. It was weeks later and you weren't upset that I ignored you. You just mentioned that 'everyone is busy and happens time to time, to forget to reply to someone'. I didn't agree. I had time. I didn't want to meet you. I felt like a heavy bag on your shoulders when I was with you. Why were you even still trying to find time for me?
We were both at your apartment because in my dorm boys would make stupid remarks about how we were a couple. We weren't and never will be. Why would they even suggest something like this?
I was like a black substance that tried to suck away your happiness. And you didn't deserve that.
"Oppa, your positivity makes me happy!" You cheerfully said and looking lovingly at my eyes.
Positivity? No. That wasn't positivity. That was my mask from everyone pitiful eyes. I was so deep in thoughts, I didn't notice you coming before my eyes and reaching your small hands towards me.
"Ne, oppa? Let's dance a bit?" You asked so innocently, that I couldn't say 'no'.
And I pirouetted you around your kitchen. You had those rare smiles that you only showed me. And for moment I was happy. And maybe I loved how you acted around me. But I couldn't have you. Never.

Yeah it's just like you
I'm so sick of how terribly it's smeared
How you made everything useless
After that we didn't meet up. I made sure I never had time when you were free or other way around. It was a cowards move to hide from you, but it was better that way. I didn't want you in my life. I didn't despise you. It was me. The problem was me. I wasn't enough..
And I made mistake. We met up. The day started awful for me. I got upset that I couldn't learn the move for our new choreography. Jimin behind my back was texting with you. Sending goofy messages and so. I got upset. I knew you were friends with all of us. But it hurt to know you meeting up with me, but texting with another man.
'Jealously'.
And when I saw you, anger grew so suddenly to dangerous level. And you were smiling to me with that smile, that it pained me to know you possibly show that smile to others.
"Ne Oppa! I miss.."
Slap.
The shock in your eyes right away pained my heart. You placed you small hand towards your just recently abused cheek. Your eyes were wide and there were hidden tears that were ready to fall any second.
"When will you leave me alone? Go away from my life! You have others! Why are you always calling me? Can you just stop and leave me alone?! I hate you! Can't you see the hate I withhold in me for you? You are useless in my eyes!"
And I 'poured more gas in the fire' I just made. You were crying by this point. You turned around in your heels and ran away. And I stood there. Looking after your fading form. And I felt pain.
'Why when you leave, I become useless? Not the other way around?'