boop

heyoooo!!

Sooooo idk if I have said this but my grandma died and she was supposed to take care of me and I think I might be in like some kind of clinical depression cause I dont wanna get up for anything but I make myself cause school and I'm really trying to get my sister's and brothers back my room is a mess rn I really need to get over this thing but I can't I want my siblings back I'm used to taking care of them cause I had to and I'm living with my mom and (step)dad yesterday I seen my aunty one of them I was walking down to the new lummi bay market but it was basically a 76 that day I felt lazy as heck walking down to the 76 from my house is basically 3 miles from my house I did get a ride from her but she also told me to keep up on my house and when I say my house that means my grandma passed it down to me I'm supposed to keep this house clean I've gotten less isolated now I just need to keep this house clean.... I also need to work on telling my class mates that I don't go by the pronouns of she/her ant that's the reason I cut my hair and most times I dont actually care of what clothing is which that theres no such thing as girl clothes and boys I just need to work on everything

I don't know what to do with my life I'm frickin 17 6-7 months till I'm 18 then I graduate and shit Im not ready for that existential crisis is what I've been going through for 2 years after I split from what I've called family at the age of 13 is the first time when I started cutting most times I've been on and off with that now when I start again its usually only one day then stop for a month or more what the fuck do I do with life none of this matters but I also matters cause of family friends and other shit like that
Questioning wheither I should just to to college straight away take a year break or go into the Navy and then go to college or go in the Navy and college at the same time I look at pamphlets you can do that

WROTE THIS A WHILE AGO