Something Wild

Part VI: Chapter Twenty-Two

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Chapter Twenty-Two: Madison's POV    

            "My father was a hitman," I say as Valerie throw the stick for Marvel again. Even though she already knows this information, she doesn't interrupt. I forge on. "He killed people as if it was nothing. He took lives, destroyed families, mine included. He never hesitated; Samuel loved that about him."

            Valerie visibly flinches at the sound of his name.

            "I never wanted to be like him, never wanted to take away a life without a second thought," I whisper, the echoes of the dying men fill my ears. "When I thought I lost you...I didn't care whose life I had to take to make sure you were safe. All those promises I made to myself were broken. I—I didn't hesitate to kill any of them."

            "They weren't good people, Madison."

            I shake my head, tears pooling in my eyes. "They were still people, Val! People that I set on fire and listen to them scream for their lives. I stood by and listened as they died, screaming, moaning, begging me to save them. Every night, I dream of their faces as they burn; the smell of burnt flesh; the feel of their blood on my hands. I see the look in their eyes, the fear, as I put a gun in their face and pulled the trigger...I can never erase that from my memory.

            "God, and I let him get to me. I let him get under my skin," I growl, slamming my fists against my thighs. "I had a gun, Valerie. I had a gun, and my machete, and I let that bastard taunt me. He baited me into a fight. I should've just shot him in the face like he fucking deserved."

            "Why didn't you?" She asks her eyes trained on me, though I can see Marvel begging her for attention out of the corner of my eyes. I take a deep breath, my heart thrums wickedly against my rib cage. I ball my hands into fists, trying to ignore the shaking that captures my whole body.

            "He kept telling me how much like my dad I am," I say through gritted teeth. The anger and disgust I felt that night courses through my veins again. The rough, tattered grip of my machete from that night comes to mind; the rage that filled me the moment Samuel said those words made me tighten my grip. His eyes were dark, taunting, daring me to prove him right. And I would have proved him wrong had I walked away. But I didn't.

            "You're nothing like your dad." A bitter laugh slips from my mouth.

            "I wish I could agree with that," I respond. Marvel trots up to me this time, dropping the stick in front of me, licking my hand as I reach out for it. I pet her head before tossing the stick further out for her. "If I was nothing like him, I wouldn't have killed those men so easily. Taught them a lesson, maybe. But, kill them? And fucking Samuel taunting me, looking at me like he knows I'm going to prove him right. God, and I fell right into his trap! I should have walked away, should have done something other than let him get under my skin..."

            "Is that why you came back half-dead?" Valerie asks cautiously, though I can tell she knows the answer. I nod solemnly.

            "I let him provoke me," I shake my head shamefully. "He wanted a fair fucking fight. Can you believe that?    After shooting me when I asked for a fair fight, he has the audacity to do the same thing?"

            "But you agreed," Val points out realizing where this is going.

            "I did. I let me pride and my fear and my anger get in the way," I confess. "I could still hear those men dying behind me in that ring of fire I made. I threw the gun aside and we just...we fought. Blade to blade for what felt like eternity. Every time he cut me, every time he knocked me down, I had to get back up, had to keep fighting because I knew you were waiting for me. There was no way I was going to die without seeing you one more time. I really didn't think I was going to make it back to you, Val. And all I kept thinking was that I was going to die, and you'd never see me again, you'd never know where I was, and that all those lives I took were for nothing."