'Golden Mary'

Part 32

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Siwon thought Donghae had wanted to talk over some drinks, not that Donghae would end up drinking by himself without talking. Just what was he brooding over that made him look so pitifully sad? A sympathetic sigh escaped his lips as he turned to look at Donghae who was currently knocked out in the passenger's seat.

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Would it work that way? Would everything still turn out alright if she just focused on work for now and allowed Siwon to look after her as he wanted? Even so, Seohyun wanted to do things for him. She didn't know what, but she wanted to be able to do things for him to enlighten his heart, make him happy. If she chose the latter she was certain half her time would be used up for Siwon and not her job. Once again, Victoria would be the one doing everything they'd already started.

Why was she still struggling over this? She was really stupid and hopeless. Why wasn't she thinking of anyone else but herself and Siwon? If she had to think it over, yes, Victoria was an important image in her head. She was an older sister, a friend she worked with. They might not be close but their partnership really meant something dear in Seohyun's heart. Maybe talking to Victoria might help. She was sure Victoria would try to understand.

Walking out of her room she started down the hall and hesitated when she found Victoria's door closed. Was she still awake or was she asleep? Reaching for the doorknob she twisted it open and poked her head in to see Victoria lying on her bed with the sheets warmly lying over her body. Pressing her lips together she retreated back to her room and never would she know that Victoria had just as much worries crossing her mind.

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The silence of her room was more powerful than she'd ever recalled it to be. It felt like someone was there sneering at her back, laughing at her. Victoria felt troubled. Her heart wavered to and fro. She wasn't able to read her own emotions and that was what troubled her most.

Seohyun and Siwon made her envious. The fact that Seohyun could be in his touch, under his arms made her jealous. And Victoria hated that. She hated the feeling that made her want to forbid Seohyun from ever seeing someone she was crushing on just because of her own selfish reasons. But what Victoria hated most next to that was the fact that she was quietly crying over the words that had trailed out of her mouth that morning. Most of all, Victoria didn't want to apologize to the hurt Donghae. She was scared of facing him and going head to head with the emotions boiling inside her.

Next on the list was the friend Luhan who was brooding over his desire to step on his father's pride, to revenge him for hurting his mother. His mother, who he loved most. Victoria knew desire, she knew how strong it could grow to be and how tiring carrying the emotion was. She knew, because the overtiring emotion to cuddle with her mother and hug her while watching her cry over father's death had simply killed her inside. Victoria had been unable to express the emotion because she was too hardheaded and couldn't step out of the line where her pride lay.

Victoria had barely slept three hours when the sun was already inching its way up into the deep blue sky. Giving up on sleep and re-energizing herself she got up, washed up, and dressed into new clothes before walking out. It was barely 7 in the morning and Victoria wasn't surprised to see that Seohyun hadn't started on breakfast yet, which was actually a good thing. She had wanted to walk out without anyone knowing.

Once she slipped into her shoes a voice asked, "Where are you going?"

She turned to see Luhan who poking his head out of the living room leaning over the armrest of the sofa. Well, she guessed he would have heard her even if she wanted to get out quietly. His room was closest to the door, she should have figured that out earlier.