c h a p t e r 26

88 1 0

by kiitkaz

by kiitkaz

daehee's thoughts
(triggering thoughts are written in this chapter if you are not comfortable reading them please do NOT read it)
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I love him.
I love him so much.
I still wonder how I am good enough for him
I still have those terrible thoughts in the back of my mind telling me that I'm not good enough and that I should pick up a blade.
I still go through battles in my head and deal with them in silence.
Overthinking is silent but painful
You lay there with so many different thoughts with so many outcomes not knowing how to deal with them till you break.
You can get heavy chested
You could get a tight chest
Or you could have both.
Let me put it this way for you.
Imagine you're having a competition with your friends at the swimming pools and you wanted to compete to see who could hold their breaths for the longest and once you dunk under you just sink to the bottom deeper and deeper till you hit the bottom of the pool and you try to hurry to the top to get that one big breath of relief.
I don't have that relief.
I don't have that breathe I've never had it and it worries me that I'll never have it.
I remember all the times I self harmed all the times I sliced my pale milky skin to see the bright red blood drip down from my arms.
And what scares me the most is that.
What if I'm not over that.
What if I want to pick it up again.
What if I'm not strong enough to fight against the strong urge to do it again.
It's always "what if" till it's too late.
All I need to think about now is.
Do I tell him?...

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A/N:
hey everyone this update is a little different I decided to write something a bit more deep.

I want y'all to know that if you're ever going through things like this you should speak up it may be hard to open up to anyone about things like this but it's good to help yourself and to take care of yourself. Put yourself first and if you ever find a friend of yours is going through something talk to them bout it show them you care.

have a good day/afternoon/night

love y'all