Three Figures

Three Figures - part 2

The road split in front of me and I debated whether to go left or right. Straight in front of me was a small clutch of green. The setting sun tinted the tips of the trees a bright, grassy green while the densely packed, jungle-like area darkened to nothingness. I pushed forward. My jogging came to a halt just before the tree line and I took some deep, heavy breaths. My chest was bursting, as though it was surrounded a white hot metal casing. My breathing and heart rate steadied, I pushed my fringe out of my eyes and shook my limbs. So many times I had thought I'd found sanctuary in all the wrong places, I never wanted that to happen again. I pushed a fold of vines aside and stepped through into the strange, luminescent light cast through the tree canopy by a dying sun. There was something so beautiful about that green light. The bracken whipped at my arms and slowly the breeze wore through my clothing. My sweaty body was exhausted but I charged relentlessly on before bursting out on to some kind of animal track. I tread gently, not wishing to disturb anyone or anything. Now that I'd stopped battling I could feel the cold and pinpricks covered my exposed arms and legs. I reached the end of the path and the trees thinned out gradually until I pulled aside a final layer of ferns. I gasped. A soft layer of leaves carpeted a small clearing. The gums towered upwards to the heavens and the remaining orange light poured through illuminating everything it touched. Half in shadow, half bathed in light. I hugged myself and rocked slightly in awe of this place. Who'd have thought? Right in the heart of the decrepit outskirts of a city in Australia.

From out of the shadows emerged two figures. It seemed as though someone else had discovered this place. They danced together wrapped in a kind of music I couldn't hear. They knew the steps well, switching from a kind of waltz o just standing and holding each other, gently swaying. She lowered her head and a mass of brown waves fell over her face, tumbling down his back. Her purple dress stood out as he finally relinquished hold of her and she spun in a circle, breaking the silence with a giggle. The came back together and the dance continued, she rested her head on his shoulder and her eyes were closed. A small smile tugged at the edges of her mouth and I smiled in spite of myself.

I quietly left the clearing while my new neighbours carried on with their slow, relaxed dance. It was so intimate so private I couldn't bear to watch it and as I jogged away I couldn't get the image of them, so comfortable with each other, out of my head.

My walk back to the road was much slower than my rampage in. I could now see the destruction I'd caused, crushed ferns and the flattened patches of grass where my heavy treads had disrupted the peace and quiet. It was freezing, I could feel the cold boring into my marrow and shivers seemed to constantly run up and down my spine. I emerged through the final band of trees and stood looking back down the street I'd come from. With a deep breath I started a light jog. My pace quickened until I was running, hard. My feet felt as though they barely hit the ground and I pushed on, faster and faster. Too far, almost a kilometre of hard running. My muscles screamed their protests and I slowed slightly. Settling into a methodical jog I allowed my mind to wander away from the streets I ran and back. Back to the clearing, back to the old house, back and back too far. My breaths became raspy and my legs sluggish. I shook the sweat out of my eyes and tripped awkwardly falling forward and grappling for air. I stood back up, hands on my hips and willed myself to ignore the past, ignore my life.

My running brought me to the hub of the town, the main drag, the pubs and the shops, the cinema, the book stores and cafes. I could see teens, about my age, walking away from the cinemas hand in hand and I had to get away from there. It was so normal it hurt, because I knew I could never be like them, so carefree. I walked quickly in the shadows with my head down. Next to all these Friday night party goers I felt so out of place, the tight black tank top that had nothing to reveal anyway, the tight, short black exercise pants and my hair pulled into a rough ponytail. No shoes. My shoes. Shit. My mind raced back through the evening. The fall. My feet led me back toward my moment of panic. It took much longer, perhaps I was tired. I grabbed my shoes from the side of the path, someone must have put them to the side. They sat perfectly next to each other, the toes in line. I couldn't believe anyone had even touched them, I'd have them since I was 10 and I'd been running since the day I bought them. My feet led me once again toward home, but this place didn't feel like home. I had never been home because nowhere ever felt like home. I hurried through bustling streets and out into the quieter suburbs, I'd come a lot further than I'd thought and I was worried about my mum, she'd already attempted once. Attempted the thing I could never understand but had considered so many times before. As my feet skipped over the pavements I reached another 'main drag' quieter and prettier than the one scattered with late night shoppers and teens. This one was home to a few old shabby shops, a tiny book store that served drinks, the amazing smells that radiated out of that place, and finally a tiny restaurant with a queue backing out the door. Obviously the place to be. It was much warmer, much friendlier here than it had been on the other street. Everyone seemed to know each other, I liked that. I checked my watch, it was a present from someone in a past life, I could barely remember who. Time always got away from me.