Uncontrollable | ✎

chapter three

Saturday, August 19

Even after Cameron leaves, I still wander around, playing the last bit of the games open before the fair closes completely.  The sun's just above the horizon, making the reds all seem mellower and the yellows brighter. 

            I follow the remaining people heading outside when I realize that I completely left Lydia alone.  I strain my neck to search for her in the midst of all the people, but I can't spot her brilliant red hair anywhere.  I'm considering that she left without me, and leave the grounds completely, deciding to take the long way home.

            It's through a small, winding trail that goes on top of a grassy hill, which has partially dried up due to the summer, and by the flowers that the community planted last year on Earth day.  I feel all giddy and warm inside as I do, and I'm half considering that I'm not even walking, I'm just floating.

            The sun dips further down the horizon, and everything seems to turn golden, including the bland dried grass next to me, and the brown dirt path that I'm stepping on.  I can't help but smile, even though I'm not with Lydia, or doing anything remotely interesting.  There's something so compelling about walking by myself, with only the crickets chirping and the small summer breeze brushing my arms.

            I take my time, slowly admiring the different colors in the sky and around me, and for now, I think I could just sit here for hours on end in this one moment.

            My phone starts vibrating in my back pocket, and I sigh solemnly and pull it out.  I don't bother checking the number because there are mainly only two people that call me: My mom and Lydia.  And Lydia prefers to text anyways, so I guess there's only my mother left.

            "Mom?" I ask quietly, and I can hear her heavy breathing on the other end.

            "Why did you just leave?"

            "I told you I was going to the fair with Lydia," I murmur, digging my fingernails into my palm, and clenching my fists tightly.

            "I never said yes," my mom whispers.  "Why did you just leave me alone at home?  I could have come with you."

            "I know... I just wanted to go with Lydia," I explain desperately.

            "And I told you I needed you home because your dad might come back, and I don't want to be the only one home when he does," my mom continues, her voice never changing in speed or tone.

            "Sorry."

            "Can you come home now?" my mom says, but it's not phrased as a command, but more of a plea instead.

            "Yeah, I'm coming.  Did dad come home?"

            "Not yet.  Is Lydia coming over?"

            "No."

            "Okay."  The phone beeps off, and suddenly I'm left in silence.  I can't hear the wind or the crickets chirping, just that weird sound you seem to hear when everything's quiet.  Kind of like a rushing feeling that I just can't put into words.

            I walk a little faster, almost tripping over a few overgrown roots in the path, and by the time I get home, the sun is completely under the horizon, the only trace of it left in the pinks in the sky.  The night still isn't cold, but the wind is stronger, and I can hear the tinkling sound of a wind chime.  I look up at the sky, and the moon is a thin sliver with a cloud partially covering it.  There's barely any stars, more than you'll get in a big city, but not nearly as much as I would have like to see.