Rags To Leather

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I take my bag to the room I stay in when I'm here and call my mom. "Where are you?" she asks. "I can't tell you that but I'm safe." I tell her. "You need to talk to Jax." she tells me. "No. I don't. He made his choice. There's nothing else to say." I tell her. All of a sudden I hear Jax on the line again. "Letti, where are you?" he asks. "I'm safe. That's all you need to know. Now let me talk to my mom." I tell him. "Letti, don't do this. Please." he says softly. "Jax, it's okay. Be with Tara. I promise. I'm okay." I tell him as the tears fill my eyes. "Damn it. Come home." he says. "I'll be home in a few days. I just need to sort the shit in my head. I'm not alone and I won't do anything stupid." I tell him. "Yeah. Okay." he says. "I love you." he says after a minute. "I need to go." I tell him before ending the call and I start to sob again.

I walk back out to the living room and see Mama on the phone. "She's right here. Hold on." she says and hands me the phone. "Happy." she says. "Hey Hap." I say softly. "You okay little girl?" he asks. "Honestly? No. I'm not." I tell him. "You want to tell me what happened?" he asks. "You gonna kill him?" I ask. "Depends on your answer." he tells me. I sit down and tell him what happened. "Don't hurt him. Just let them be happy." I tell him. "And what about you?" he asks. "I'll be home in a couple of days. I just need to get my head right." I tell him. "Okay. Just call me if you need anything." he tells me. "You won't tell him where I am will you?" he asks. "Just get some rest kid." he tells me. "Love you Hap." I say. "Love you too little girl." he says before ending the call. I sit on the couch and put my head in Mama's lap like I did when I was little. I feel the tears fall again and she just comforts me the way she used to.

The next morning, I wake up to Mama knocking on the bedroom door. "You have a visitor." she tells me and I think it's Happy until she moves and I see Jax walk in. "Happy told you." I say. "No but I figured it out when he about beat my head in." he tells me and it's then that I notice the bruises on his face. "Why are you here?" I ask. "Needed to make sure you were okay." he tells me. "Well now you know I am so you can head back to Charming. Tara know you're gone?" I ask. "None of Tara's business." he tells me as he sits on the side of the bed. "Jax, just go home please. I can't get my head right if you're here." I tell him. "Not until you hear me out." he says. "Fine." I say. "First of all, I didn't kiss her. She kissed me and I pushed her away." he says and I don't look at him. "Second, I meant what I said when I said I wanted this. I want you. Not Tara. She's nothing more than Abel's doctor and if it will make you more comfortable, I'll have her taken off his case." he says and I still don't respond. "Third." he says as he tilts my head up to look at him "I love you. Not Tara. She bailed on me and you stayed. You're what keeps me sain. I told you this before. You're what keeps me level. You know all the shit I've done and you still stand by me." he says. I look at him for a minute and say "I don't know if I can, Jax. I really don't." I tell him. "Do you love me?" he asks. "Of course I do." I tell him. "Then be with me. Take shit a day at a time. We always sleep next to each other anyway. I tell you everything. You're the one that I go to when shit's bothering me. You realize that until we slept together the other night, you were already my girl." he says. "Yeah but you were still sleeping with everyone else." he tells me. "Well, now, the only one I'm with is you. Will you come home? Please?" he asks. I nod my head. "I still need space to get my head right." I tell him. "Okay. I get it. But you're still mine and I'm still yours." he tells me and I just nod.

Pulling up at home, he pulls in beside me. Getting off his bike as I get out of the car, he grabs my bag and I say "What about space?" I ask. "I know. I just wanted to make sure you got home okay." he tells me. Carrying my bag inside, he takes it to my room and walks back into the living room where I am. Pulling me close, he kisses me deeply and says "I love you Letti." I whisper "I love you too." before the tears start to fall again. He holds me close for a minute before I pull away from him. "You should go." I tell him softly. "Yeah. I don't want to leave but if you need me, call me. I'll be here in a heartbeat." he tells me. "I know." I tell him. Kissing me one more time, he heads to his bike and waits on me to get the door closed before he pulls out of my driveway.

I move to the bed and climb in. Laying my head on the pillow he normally sleeps on, I can still smell him. Picking up the pillow, I throw it across the room and start to sob. I spend the entire night crying before finally dozing off. Waking up the next morning I see a text on my phone.

J: Good morning babe. How're you feeling this morning?

L: I'm okay. Just going to hang out here today. Let your mom know?

J: Yeah. You need me?

L: Are you really with me? Not her?

J: Baby, I just want you. No one else. You're it.

L: Can you come over?

J: On my way.

A few minutes later, I hear his bike pull up. He walks up to the door and I open it before he makes it to the door. He walks inside and I pull him to me and wrap my arms around his neck as his go around my waist. He holds me close and neither of us say anything. When we pull apart, he kisses me softly and asks "You wanna go see our boy?" I look at him and he says "Wendy signed over her rights and the kid needs a mom." he says. I look at him for a second and he says "You'll be a great mom." I smile softly and nod my head yes.

I get dressed and we head out the door to St Thomas. Walking into the room where his toaster is, we walk over and see he's awake. "Hey Monster. How's my baby boy this morning?" I ask and the nurse says "He's doing really well. Vitals are getting better every day. He was a little fussy yesterday but seems okay this morning." she tells us. We thank her before she leaves us alone with Abel. A little later, Tara comes in and she looks at Jax and he won't even look at her. He pulls me closer and kisses my temple as he looks at Abel. She checks his incisions and I ask "How do they look?" She doesn't look at me but says "They're healing up really well. Better than we expected." I look at her and she's looking at Jax. I do something I never would have done before. "Jax, can you get me a coffee please?" He nods before kissing my lips softly and walking out, sensing what I need to do. She goes to leave and I say "Can I talk to you a minute?" I ask her and my voice is completely calm. "What can I do for you?" she asks. "You asked me the other day if Jax and I were together." I say and she nods. "We weren't then, but we are now and I would appreciate it if you would keep your hands and everything else off of him. I'm coming to you woman to woman and frankly I'm being a lot more calm than what I was raised to be but the next time we have to have this conversation, I won't be so calm. You're a good doctor and we're grateful for what you have done for Abel but Jax is off limits. Are we clear?" I ask. "Yeah. We're clear. But just one thing." she says and I look back at her. "I took him once. I can take him again." she tells me. "I doubt that sweetheart. But you wanna keep trying, just remember, I warned you." I tell her, getting right in her face and say "Game fucking on."