short writings

Brian.

Brian. 
Sitting on the couch waiting for him to come in, wondering should I run? Should I just suck it up and get this over with? How did I get myself into all this? He comes home and smiles at me that wicked grin that chills my blood. He stands me up and strips me bare kissing my lips and then my neck down to my chest making me sick with every touch. Maybe dying this young would be better then being touched by a sinner.
*End of flashback*

They say the internet can be a great place, but you don't hear a lot about the dark and destroying things it can do to a person. Facebook a world wide app, let me tell you how one choice fucked up my life.
Family is suppose to have your back, help you whenever you need but in my case it was much different. My cousin Harley messaged me one night and said "hey,this guy seems to be really interested in you he said text him." She knew I didn't talk to a lot of people at the time, and guys weren't my main thoughts a lot. I replied and said "lol why" it wasn't even 5 seconds and she had already answered. "Because you two will hit it off I know for sure and he seems to need someone he just went through a rough breakup a few weeks ago" she said. I didn't want to be rude nor pushy but there was no way in hell I was about to message him. About20 minuets went by and I had a message notification, from a Brian. I looked at it and it was just a simple "hey." I asked "do I know you?" He wasted no time and replied instantly, "no I don't think so lol but I know you Anne." "How's that if we've never spoken?" His reply had me curious and maybe just maybe that's what got me into the mess. Being too curious wondering what lies underneath the mystery man himself. Staring at the screen rereading what he said minutes went by before I replied. "We've never spoke but I've seen you, how you look, how pretty you are." I reply in hopes it would end there "thanks for the compliment but little creepy so I'm gonna go." He begged me to speak to him, to give him the time of my night, just an hour is all he wanted. And my second mistake was agreeing to it.

Three or four days had pass and he would only be on at night, never day and it went with his character they always did say the devils better in the dark and it described him well. But I still went back,hesitating but still made the choice to answer him. He asked me "call me let's talk." I said no at first. He asked again. So I gave in and said "I won't talk much but I'll listen." It was about 12am and we was on the phone. His voice still rings in my mind, I fell for it once a short time period really. But that night we talked for six hours and something, I kept telling myself leave, get out something isn't right nor safe. But I ignored that little voice and was doing the wrong things. Staying, falling like a silly little girl. He mostly talked about Harley and his uncle. His uncle wasn't right in the head. He killed two men, he would touch and take pictures of underage girls. But Brian didn't seem to find his uncle strange, I didn't say anything but let it leave my mind. Another choice I shouldn't have made.

Before I knew it six months had passed and I had fell for everything that had came out of his sinful mouth. He would never let me see his face, only hear his voice after awhile I stopped asking tired of all the excuses he came up with. I ended up growing some type of way for him, but hating myself at the same time. I done things I never thought I would, I hated my body and that was one of his things. Pictures he had a very high kink for naked pictures. So I did many times I just sent him things so he wouldn't ask me to call him and get him off. I never could show him a live show until the black mail started. I was so scared he would actually live up to his words and show my family things I couldn't have them seeing or  hurting my baby siblings. All that added up to me sitting on his couch,finding out he was  pretending to be teenage boys on the internet. my life getting ready to take a turn for the worst. If I didn't come here  he was going to have me took from my family and he knew when it came to my family I would do anything. So that's what I did. I let a 47 year old man touch me, feel me with hate and sin, and turn me into someone I never wanted to be. After that day I was never the same.

A few months had past. I stopped eating a lot always throwing up whatever I did eat. Staying isolated in my bedroom for weeks at a time after school. Not even being able to look in a mirror without seeing his hands on me. Who was I? How could I let this happen? My parents always said that sorta thing can happen to anyone I always said not me. Never thought it could. But I was wrong. It happen and it destroyed me, the self hate was so deep inside there was no light able to get in anymore. My lips never smiled, my voice never laughed or got happy. I was cold, numb, and dead inside. This was the new Anne, and I finally accepted it.