That's Life

Chapter Five:

Saturday and Sunday went without a word from Daniel. It was as if I didn't exist and we never met each other. We could have been perfect strangers if we didn't have the same friends. He said nothing to Brain as well, since Ashton was completely clueless, and things were still going well in La La Land. I asked Ashton on Sunday night if Brain had mentioned Daniel at all and she said no, that Daniel's been MIA. I don't know what hurts more, the fact he was so utterly repulsed by the fact we kissed or that he is going to pretend I'm not alive.
            Monday morning came, and Daniel is still nowhere to be found. I didn't bother waiting to see if he would show up at my apartment, I just rode my bike. At the staircase the whole group is there, everyone seeming the same. No one knowing where he is. Except for Jolene, she says she called him this morning and he claimed he had a doctor's appointment and wouldn't be there in the morning.
            The real test came when I sat in my seat in Mr. Vega's class. My paper in hand ready to turn in... But if he doesn't show then my grade will suffer. Surprisingly he shows up just as the bell rings and sits down next to me. I try to start a conversation, "Do you have your paper?"
            He sets the folder under his arm on the desk and pulls out the essay, showing me instead of talking...
            "Great..." I say under my breath.
            For the rest of class I keep my arms folded and eyes out the window. I didn't want to look at him if he was going to act like a child. The bell rings, and he gets up before me and heads out the door with his head hung. I follow him out and down the hall in hopes he'll say anything. I'm going to photography, he's going to soccer practice and as soon as we step foot outside the crowds swarm every which way and he's gone.
            I bump into Ashton and she grabs hold of me, "Woah! What's the rush?"
            "I just want to get to class." I pull away from her and head across campus.
            Ashton walks alongside me, and I can hear the cogs turning in her head, "What's wrong?" She asks, "Did your Dad do something?"
            "No. Pop's been his usual self." I don't want her to pry any further but knowing her she will.
            "Then what's going on?" She links arms with me.
            I slow my walk and take a calming breath, "It's Daniel."
            Anger sparks her eyes, "What did the pig do?"
            I shake my head, "... Let's just say you were right."
            Ashton stops her stride, "I'm sorry, Mikey..."
            Shrugging my shoulders and hold open the classroom door for her, "I'll get over it."

            At lunch time we sit at our table in the cafeteria as normal. Ashton and Brain sit at one end with me, as well as Geisha. Jolene and Hugh argue over something political, Pickles and Rudy make jokes, and Daniel sits quietly pretending to listen. Geisha goes into her back pack and pulls out my orange jacket I lent her last week, "Fresh and clean, thanks again for lending it to me."
            "I'd do it again in a heartbeat." I give her my first smile of the day and put the jacket into my bag.
            A French fry hits the side of my face and Rudy calls for my attention, "Yo! Mikey, are you coming to my party after the game tonight?"
            I look at Daniel, then at Ashton, "Ah I don't know if I'm even going to the game."
            Everyone bug eyes in unison and protest, "But you have to come!" Geisha begs yanking on my arm. "We're all going to be there, it won't be the same without you!'
            "I..." I don't know what to say, even though I already agreed to go to the game, I'm not sure if the offer still stands. Peeking at Daniel he's finally looking at me, it's written all over his face that he's impatiently waiting for a response. I hold his gaze, "Yeah, I'll go." He offers me half a smile and his eyes look apologetic, but I don't want him to think I'm agreeing only for him. So, I add, "But only because I love you Geisha." His smile falls as Geisha kisses me on the cheek.
            "What about you Jolene?" Hugh asks her in the break of their argument.
            "No shit I'm going. Why wouldn't I?" Jolene is always blatantly annoyed.
            "Well you've made your point on men so clear I didn't think you'd want to cheer on a sport where men got praise."
            Her eyes practically turned red, "What the fuck?! I never said that-."
            Their argument goes on for some time and one by one we leave the table. Jolene stormed off first to get in a smoke before class and Hugh followed her. Geisha, Pickles, and Rudy went to the yearbook room, so she could take their pictures. I stood with Brain and Ashton, with Daniel awkwardly standing at Brain's side with his hands in his pockets.
            "So, was the concert any fun?" Brain asks Daniel and me.
            We exchange a quick glance and Daniel decides to speak up, "It was pretty fun, but we both got pretty drunk."
            "Yeah... I got hit on by Brando which was pretty cool." I chime in, hoping to make it seem like something else wasn't going on below the surface.
            The name Brando made Ashton jolt alive, "Oh my god! You talked to Brando!? What was it like? Did he smell good?"
            "Who's Brando?" Brain asks.
            Daniel explains, "The lead singer of the band."
            "Yes, it was an out of body experience, a little embarrassing."
            Ashton jumps up and down squealing, "That's so cool! Ugh! I wish I could have gone!"
            "Me too." I sigh looking down at my feet.
           
**

            The soccer game was at 6:30 and wouldn't end till 8. I show up alone even though both Ashton and Geisha offered me a ride. When I spot the girls on the bleachers I laugh to myself, it didn't dawn on me till now that I was the only guy in the group who wasn't on the soccer team. I sit between Jolene and Geisha with my hands in a tight knot on my lap.
            It is freezing, the girls have on warm coats and I only have the jacket Geisha returned to me early today. I shiver respectively, but the warmth from the lights provided is sufficient enough. Rocky High's soccer field was something to be seen, we didn't have a football team because parents in the area thought it was too rough of a sport, so soccer was king. I think two years ago some wealthy family donated a million dollars into renovating the field, which really wasn't needed since it was already state of the art.
            The one thing I don't like about not having a football team, is that we don't have cheerleaders here either... It's as if I'm not getting my money's worth out of a high school experience.
            I can feel Jolene's eyes on the side of my face, burning holes like acid, "Is this your first school game, Michael?"
            "Ah, yeah it is..."
            She nods slowly and taps her fingers on her knees, "Not a sports guy then?"
            "No... No, not really." I laugh, "Yeah. No, not at all."
            The tension between us is softened a little, she even jokes along with me, "Yeah you don't really strike me as the type."
            "I mean I ride a bike every day so it's not like I'm unfit or anything... Just something about organized group activities..." I shudder at the thought of me in one of those blue and red uniforms.
            "It's not really for me either."
            My brows knit together, "Then how come you come to these events?"
            She shrugs and points down to the guys warming up on the field, "They're my friends and you've got to support your friends." She giggles at something in her head she looks fondly at the kazoo in her hands, "I actually started coming to these things because I met Daniel and I wanted to know more about him... He's just one of those magnetic people that pull you in..." Her happiness is lost, and she looks almost sad, "But he's also a dangerous person to love, damn idiot can never make up his mind on anything."
            I put my hand on her shoulder and she looks startled as if she never imagined I'd be kind to her, "You've surprised me."
            She makes a funny face, "I did?"
            "Yeah." I nod, "I pegged you, no offense, as the bitch... But this group really does mean a lot to you."
            Jolene rolls her eyes, "Don't tell anyone. It'll go straight to their heads."
            "I won't..." I look back at the field and the game has already started, "Now please explain to me what's going on."
            She points around at different players and tells me what they do. She explains that basically we're trying to score in their goal and vice versa. I know the feeling. "Do you get it now?" She asks.
            I pensively stare at the field, "Ah... I'd be lying if I said yes, but I'm kind of getting it."
            "What's so hard to understand?" Her temper slowly rises, she would not be good with children, "They run back and forth kicking a ball. It's not hard to get."
            I shrug and put my hands up, "Sorry, I fix cars and sit at home, sports pass over my head."
            She sighs and looks away from me, with a grumble she says, "You're so weird."

            The first half of the game ends and the players take a short break, Daniel and Rudy stand on the side lines panting spraying each other with water. Daniel takes the white head band off his head and his curls hang damp over his eyes. He looks up at the bleachers and waves to us, so does Rudy who is now joined by Pickles and Hugh. We all wave back and cheer them on. The coach blows his whistle and the boys join back together in a circle, and Daniel replaces his head band.
            I think it's his hair that got me stuck. The perfect chocolate ringlets that bounce when he walks, the way they fluff up in the wind. His hair makes him look sweet or in contradiction, like Achilles going to war.  I'm envious but at the same time I know he's the only one who could pull it off. I hated him for it... That's a lie, I could never hate him for anything... The irony is not lost on me, only a few weeks ago did I detest the very ground he walked on. But with no evidence or reason, simply because he owned a symbol of Pop's depression. How could I have let a car come between me and another person. A car. And it's not even Daniel's problem. He didn't buy the car, he didn't sell the car. It was given to him and, so he drives it. He's committed no crime, and yet for the longest time I treated him as a criminal. Blinded by my Pop's grief and hatred for the Sinner family.
            I should laugh at myself, what am I saying? Have I seriously forgotten that I have no chance with him? He's made his emotions clear, he obviously feels terrible about the kiss. I should leave him alone... If I keep going after him, I'll be no better than the gay stereotype that all gay men want straight guys. I'm better than that...
            The game resumes and I stay on the bleachers for a little while longer. Ashton cheers for Brain, even though he's just standing at the goal waiting. At least she's dedicated. Geisha and Jolene yell and scream with her, Geisha even brought a horn with her to blow every time one of the guys scored... Or made a goal? I don't know the lingo.
            Ten minutes into the final half, my ass is numb, and I need to stretch my legs. I get up and crack my back before scooting in front of the girls. Ashton stops me, "Where are you going?"
            I nod toward the stairs, "I'm gonna take a walk. Maybe piss."
            She rolls her eyes, "Have fun." When I walk past her, she gives me a firm slap on the ass and all three girls laugh.
            "Funny." I groan, rubbing my right cheek as I head down the bleachers and into the crowd standing in front.
            The crowd reeks of sweat, cheese, and beer. A truly pleasant combination to the nose. I walk down a dirt path toward the parking lot, the sound of cheers slowly drowning out behind me. It's dark as it usually gets this time of year and I sit down on the fence facing the parking lot. The city lights glow in the distance, I focus on it and let myself breathe.
            I can't tell if I'm embarrassed or just depressed about this whole stupid situation. I've never really had guy friends, I hop from year to year either alone or with a few girl friends. Now I have five. Three of which are hyper masculine jocks, one is in love with my best friend, and the other... Kissed me. I need to stop thinking about this. It's a waste of time, like we get it Michael the guy you like kissed you now he won't talk to you. It's a sob story heard and retold a million times.
            I stay on the fence for a few more minutes before I hear a raccoon and justly make my way back to the action. Not wanting to return to the bleachers and sit with the ladies, I find a quiet spot and stand with my left shoulder on the underside of the bleacher structure. Here I can see the guys more clearly and can make out the expressions on their faces. Rudy looks exhausted to the point of death, while Pickles laughs and literally runs circles around his twin brother. It's funny because no one would guess looking at them that they were related, they look nothing like each other. Pickles had brown hair while Rudy was slightly ginger. I can't spot Hugh he's probably out on the field, Brain is still standing with his hands on his hips, and Daniel is fully submerged into the action running alongside the ball. That's just... too much work.
            Crossing my arms, I'm taken back to when I shot those pictures of him... And all the times after when I looked at those pictures alone in my room. He can't ever know I have those. It'll be the finally cut in our friendship.
            I look up at the clock on the scoreboard. The game will be over in two minutes. We already beat them by 10 points, so it's another victory from the Rocky High Creatures.
The crowd begins to count, "5... 4... 3... 2... 1!" The opposing team makes their final play and fail. Kazoos, horns, and cheers bombard the masses. Our team rushes the field and join together in celebration. They jump up and down like a bunch of tween girls at a one direction concert.
First, I see Hugh burst from the crowd, heading out toward the girls. Then Rudy and Pickles, Pickles which ironically enough got kicked in the balls, so he walks with a limp holding on to Rudy's shoulder. Brain pops out and immediately goes searching for Ash, he spots me on his way and waves, giving me a big smile and two thumbs up. Daniel, of course, is the last to emerge. His face is focused, and he stops for a moment looking around. His gaze finds mine. Making a direct bee line to me, I back up a little, further out of view of the crowd.
Daniel reaches me, and his cheeks are bright red and sweat drips from his forehead like rain on a car window. He catches his breath before speaking, "Hi."
"Hi..." We both go silent, "Nice game, you played well." My mouth forms a flat line as I awkwardly come up with something to say.
"I want..." He begins, "I... I want to say I'm sorry for the way I acted today. And on Saturday." He looks down at his feet and shuffles from side to side, "None of what happened was your fault. That was all me... I'm just... Extremely embarrassed about this whole thing."
Oh... I don't know what to say and I don't want him to think I'm some gay guy who's in love with him or anything, so I lie, "Ah... Thanks for apologizing, but you really don't need to. I didn't really notice you acting weird."
His eyes sadden, and he nods his head slowly, "Your friendship really means a lot to me and I don't want anything to come between us."
I can't do this, just play along, "Well, like you said, we were shit faced, so..."
"Yeah... Exactly..." He scratches his head and pulls off the head band. His hair... God his hair... "So, we're cool?"
"Of course, we always were."
He smiles, though I can see in his eyes he doesn't believe me. Sticking out his arms he yanks me into a hug before I can comprehend what's happening. He wraps his arms around my neck and holds me close. Out of instinct my arms grasp his waist and we stand like that frozen. He smells good and I breathe him in, I never knew sweat could be so seducing. His arms tighten around my neck like a boa constrictor, signaling he isn't ready to let me okay. I have no qualms.
"Hey, guys!" Ashton calls out to us. We break away from each other and look at the group with nervous faces.
I clear my throat and punch Daniel on the shoulder, he holds his arm and pushes down a wince, "We were just looking for you guys." I say breaking the silence.
"So, listen up," Pickles starts, obviously feeling better after the fatal shot, "Party at my place. Everyone awesome is gonna be there, Brain and Ash are driving together. Hugh, Rudy and I are taking my truck. Jolene and Geisha together. So, what are you two doing?"
Geisha chimes in, "Jolene and I will drive you Mikey." But then she stops and thinks, "Oh, but you have your bike and Jolene has a Mini... Shit."
Daniel laughs and puts his arm on my shoulder, "It's chill, Turtleneck will ride with me." Ashton's gaze demands mine and she gives me a what happened? And I send back a I don't know. Daniel shakes me and says, "We're going to get showered, meet me at the car."
"Okay..."
            The guys go off with their team to the locker room. Ash pulls me aside as Geisha and Jolene debate on how to pronounce FIFA. "So, you two made up or what?"
"Um... He apologized for being weird and then I was like being an ass about it... Then he told me our friendship means a lot... Then we hugged."
She twirls her hands around, "Like what kind of hug?"
"What do you mean?"
She grabs me and pats my back, "Like this kinda hug or like," She wraps her arms around my waist and holds me, "This kinda hug."
I rub my head, "Is there a difference...?"
"Don't play dumb. It's not a cute look."
"The second one I guess..." I say reluctantly.
She nods as if taking note, "That means he could be a closet case."
"Why would you say that?!" I freak, "Now that's going to be in my head. Thank you. So much."
She pinches my cheek, "Calm down, it was just a theory."
"A theory that's going to make me psycho analyze everything he says and does." I cross my arms and look back at the disbanding crowd. "I'm so pathetic."
"You're not pathetic, Michael..." She takes my arm and leads me back to Jolene and Geisha, "Just please. Ask him tonight."
"Maybe..." I whisper.

**
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Thank you,
      M. M. Morgan