My Sleeping Beauty (On Hold?)

Days 1-15

Day One

I can’t really explain how I feel. I could say I’m depressed, which is sort of true. I could say I’m suicidal, which is also sort of true. But if I REALLY told that to anyone, I’d probably get locked up in a crazy house. The best way to explain how I feel is like putting a bunch of pebbles in a jar and shaking it. Just a jumble of emotions. There’s the anxiety that something is going to happen. Not necessarily always going to know what, just something. There’s the depression every once in a while. That unexplained sadness, the constant exhaustion. Yet, you always have to put a smile on your face. And the anger. Oh, the anger. It’s never really directed at anyone in particular. Just everyone in general. You snap at everyone. Your best friend, your boyfriend/girlfriend. And later, you always feel guilty. But the worst is the self-hate. It’s awful. You feel completely useless and worthless to people. No matter how many people tell you how wonderful you are, you just don’t see it. You just keep feeling useless and worthless and like no one cares. But I wasn’t always like this. Before January, I used to be care-free, happy. A break-up or some school drama here and there. But that all changed in January. What happened in January?

January was when my boyfriend Andrew died.

Day Three

So now you’re probably wondering who I am. Well, my name’s Darren Miller, Ren for short. Sorry I disappeared so suddenly. Bad winter storms right now and our power went out. And before you ask, no I’m not gay. When people ask on my sexuality, I tend to say I’m pansexual, meaning I don’t care for gender, moreso personality. But really, I don’t like to label myself like that. I am who I am, and that’s all that matters. Now, back to my story. Crap the lights are beginning to flicker. The power might

Day Six

Okay. Power’s back again. Good thing for auto-save. Now. Back to my story! Everything started back in June of ’12. I was dating this chick named Alessa. We were in a great relationship, didn’t have many problems. She was a great girl; kind of clingy though. We were walking through his park in town, called Falls Park. It’s exactly what it sounds like; a bunch of different miniature waterfalls and rock formations to pass for a park. I live in a little town full of Catholics. My dad is the priest of the local church and my mom is your typical housewife, but she’s open minded. She’s the only one who knows I’m pansexual in our little ‘family’. I’m 18, almost graduated from high school. My brother is only 6, and kind of quiet. My sister is only 14, and by god I swear she’s worse than your typical prostitute. She’s tried at least every drug out there, she drinks, goes to parties with college students, dresses in close to nothing (I wonder HOW she gets away with it in this town – especially with our dad being the priest) and – she’s pregnant. Of course, she has no clue who the father is. The only really good thing about her is that she isn’t STD ridden. I have no idea how she gets away with it, considering our dad’s the priest and we live in a town of only 53 people; so everybody knows everybody. I think my father secretly takes pity on her. Oiutfdre. Oops, sorry. That was Noah, my little brother. My sister’s name is Krysi. Anyways, so Alessa and I’d been dating for 3 months when I FIRST met Andrew. We’d been walking through the park, yada yada. We sat down on a bench to rest and we started talking. There was a new family that had just moved to town, the Bankses. They seemed like your typical family. Mom, dad, son, daughter. They even had a cat. The only difference: The son, Andrew, was openly bisexual and their daughter, Leah, was openly a lesbian. That wasn’t going to go down well in a town of Catholics. We were in the middle of talking about what might happen at school on Monday (Andrew is 17; Leah, 15) when a ball came flying directly at us and nearly hit me in the face. Alessa gave

Day Ten

Power has been off and freaking on for the past four days and it’s finally back for good. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Alessa gave a squeal and scooted out of the way and I caught the ball just before it hit me square in the nose. I blinked a few times and glanced up to see a pair of teenagers headed toward us. I knew who they were right away, but I was still caught off guard by how attracted I was to Andrew. He wasn’t overly attractive or anything; he had shaggy, dark brown hair that fell over his eyes in subtle waves. His eyes were a beautiful hazel-ish color, with flecks of chocolatey brown, ocean blue and mint green. He had soft, plump limps that quirked into a dorky half-smile. He had high cheekbones that were softened by somewhat pudgy cheeks that sort of reminded me of a chipmunk. He stood at about 5’5 or 5’6 and beneath his thin maroon t-shirt and baggy gray shorts, I could see his toned muscles from years of school sports and running for stress relief (I learnt this later on). My gaze shifted to his sister. They could have been twins, if not for the age difference. Leah stood at about 5’4 and had long, wavy hair that hung at her hips. It was a shade darker than Andrew’s, nearly black. She had the same high cheek bones softened by slight pudge. Her lips looked soft and luscious, their color reminding me of rose petals. Her eyes were a light periwinkle color, with little flecks of sapphire blue. She wore a strapless scarlet dress that hugged her figure and fell just above her knees; the color contrasted sharply with her pale skin-tone, but it looked good on her. They walked up to us and Andrew kind of hid behind his sister shyly. Leah rolled her eyes – crap. Dinner time.

Day Fifteen

Krysi’s water broke two days ago. She had a healthy baby girl she named Faye Kessa Miller. Krysi’s in the hospital still; she has a really bad infection. They aren’t sure how it happened. It could kill her.