A world unknown

My own universe has grown dark and horrifying, but even so it is my only real escape from the pain of heartbreak.
I keep my sanity safely locked away there, hidden deep in my regal abyss.
Allowing me to stay numb, and untold promises will keep it safe
from thievery of my mind

Upon a wintery stage “you shall dance in solitary bliss till you perish!” escapes from between mangled vines.
My wretched voice bounces ever so ominously off of the stein blackened roses.
Contorting through the air my saut de chat ends in a grand plié transforming into a brilliant swirling burst of emerald sparks.
The iridescent beams reflect greatly, showering my jagged counterparts,
causing my demons to recoil into the forever blackness.

The dignitaries left surrounding the enclosure rush into the circus, they praise my insecurities and raise me higher.
I perform the never ending dance laid out for me flourishing with violets, indigo, verdant, and crimson.
Gracefully I convert to a hindered state by the swarms of modulation,
my promenade flurries to and fro bouncing wildly out of control.
Seeing the tempered probability the fiends slink from their hidden perches.

My movements become heavy and sluggish my light wavers turning into a sour haze.
As if on a secret cue they reveal themselves completely again,
mutating all into a maelstrom.
The moaning chortle meshes with the gusting cyclone climaxing to an unbearable shriek.
A thunderous crack jolts everything to an alarming halt, and for a span of 5 seconds there is complete stillness.
Whack!
Instantaneously it all resets and I return to my familiar apathy
never failing to entertain my unending spectrums.

Ever interminable is my oblivion that brings me such ghastly comfort, unbreakable my barrier thought to be.
I can continue on while staying numb…………….
There in the outer void, that space I shy away from, floats a dim twinkle
Lazily its pearlescent light blazes slightly brighter, my burned out senses begin to awaken.
Transference of meanings bounce around.
The what ifs and why didn’t I?
This nonexistent contract begins to brighten even my darkest of crevices, sending waves of flames to my core.

My murmur skips a beat.
The promise of a luminous future or more scarring upon my beaten gusto?
Again old agony trapped and buried resonates from far away, but I can't stop my selfish cravings from surfacing.
The leap most desired or the isolation of sanity?
Warmth tepidly begins to trickle through the fields of frozen floret, melting the shattered edges within.

The lucid path portrayed before me appears serene and radiant.
Allowing myself to slip, I momentarily lose all sight of my malady.
This leaves just enough influence to effectively lose authority.
I rush the groove, furthering myself from my platform of impregnability.
My hair trigger reaction sets off a series of fractious cupidity leading me closer to my fantasy.

I blink and it all disappears.
Slumping to hug my entire body I feel lost and alone again.
The demented thought to be left behind glide auspiciously towards my unprotected being.
Unaware of the danger I lay and weep first only from listlessness.
My sobbing alters to that of a screeching howl as I am attacked by the unforeseen vacillations.

Broken, bruised, bloody, cracked, crazed, and terrified I bound through the dark.
Trying to find my way back to the safety of my podium.
Where these monsters can exist but not physically harm my soul.
They follow ever so close as I blindly grasp for my last ounce of sanity.
Fear whispers sweetly to give up so I no longer have to feel, but a nagging horrendous memory of failing keeps me in motion even if unseeing.

I am blinded by the elusive bright light appearing miraculously as my feet give away from under me.
I can hear all hell break loose around me, but I have no strength to watch the demons be banished from everywhere the light touches.
I have been saved but for how long?
It is imperative to find sanctuary again, what choice do I have?
I use the twinkle to illuminate all that surrounds me, finally I can see it.
Gathering the last strength I have I muster the will to make my way painfully to my stage that has been in wait for me.

Just as I come upon my barrier I blink and all is doused yet again in utter darkness.
No hesitation necessary I step just out of the claws of the beast at my back,
and directly into the safety of my barricade.
With no time to heal, I stride over to center stage leaving a trail of bloody
footprints in my wake.
It is time to return to my familiar apathy.
My never ending dance meant to be danced, utterly alone, to entertain those that reside inside of me.