Being different is not an easy thing today. When you reach that age when you want to break out and live your life, and everything is going to collapse around you... This is my life in the past 3 years.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Well... There are so many things that I need to tell you about. But let's start with the time when everything started... 3 years from now.
I was in the last year of secondary school. I felt like I don't belong there... I just knew that something's wrong with me but I didn't know what that is. I have a really bad story from that time. I had been working in a small supermarket like everybody else at my age. I just wanted to make money so I don't have to ask money from my parents. I really liked to go to work because I was able to separate my life and work. It was the graduation year so full of stress and I needed something to switch my head off and working is the best method to do that. I was a simple cashier, then I was promoted to some sort of leader as a student. I enjoyed every single second that I spent in the shop and started to think about that I should leave the school and start working... But luckily I didn't do that and graduated successfully. There were so many things that manipulated me so I wasn't able to think clearly...
I had a huge argument with my parents. My mother and my sister just moved to another house and I was left there with my father. The other day my father told me to move because he won't support me and he will move as well. I had to make some decisions to be able to live and decided to move to my brother. They are really poor so I had to work harder, had to apply for more shifts and so on... I had been living with my brother for 1 year with the fact that I have no one to turn to and no one was there for me to support. I had to grow up as fast as I could. It was around October (2016) and I should've prepared for graduation but instead of that, I had to go to work every single night to get enough money. My shift started at 9 pm and ended at 7 am. I went to school after the shift and I was in school until 6 pm so I had about 3 hours to sleep before I have to go to work. It was a tough time for me but taught me how to live on my own. I had been doing this for around 7 months. In spite of these facts, I finished the year with a really good average (4.2 / 5) so I was proud of myself. I finished my final exams with great grades so I had a chance to apply to the university where I'm now. Living that life wasn't easy but I moved on.
Honestly, this isn't the hardest part of my life. I realized that I'm a little bit different from everybody else. I just wasn't sure about what's wrong with me. I had no one to ask for help or just some advice. I had to figure this out on my own because this thing drove me crazy day by day. I spent a lot of time with myself and finally found the problem. Girls weren't the only one that I'm interested in. Usually, people call this thing bisexual but to be honest, I don't really like to call these on their names. I think there shouldn't be any difference between these things so I don't talk about it often. So yeah... exploring this thing was the hardest part of my life.
What is that thing, the secondary students interested in the most? Love, of course... I wasn't an exception from this. But at that time, I fell in love with a girl. We were together for 1 year. She was a really really complicated case so I couldn't continue that thing with her so we broke up. After a short period of time, I fell in love for the second time. We were together for about 3 months and broke up. I determined that I don't need anyone until the end of the university. As a matter of fact, I kept that promise. But not completely. I wanted to explore things with boys so I started to interested in those things... That's all you need to know for now.
I could be able to talk about a lot of things which happened to me 3 years ago, but those things wouldn't be as important as it is, so leave it in the past. My next story will be about my last 2 years. A lot of things happened to me, including disappointments and enlightenment.
Don't forget: you're beautiful inside and out. Don't let people determine your life. It's your life so use it to live as free as possible! <3
