A Star For You

Seventeen

The next few weeks passed in a blur. Estelle rarely left her room, only to teach and eat sometimes in the Great Hall. O.W.L's and N.E.W.T's for the fifth and seventh year students were fast approaching, it already being the middle of April and almost the month of May. Everyone was prepping and studying while the Professors started telling them what to expect on the examinations. She was glad though, the busyiness of it all helped distract her. She was busy during the day and even during her free days when she didn't teach; helping any student that needed extra help in fear of the tests. She was thankful for the distractions during the day but during the night, she was usuaslly left to her own thoughts when she was alone. That was when she would stay up all night thinknig over different things that made her feel numb. 

She couldn't help it, the memories and thoughts always came rushing back to her when she found herself alone and in the dark by herself. They wouldn't stop. It was even worse when she saw him either strolling the corridors of the castle, in the Great Hall while they ate or when others spoke of him. She tried to avoid it all but once again, she couldn't help it. People talked and she couldnt stop them whenever she was near. Turns out Severus was the talk among the students again, being even harsher than ever. He was taking away house points for hardly anything, yelling and barking at students for the slightest of noises. The pranks ended straight away, although it didn't matter. His attitude was even worse and everyone noticed. The ferocity in his behaviour shocked many and were becoming afraid of him again.

Estelle ignored them though, well tried too, and remained silent. The only person she would talk to nowadays was Elio since she really had no one else. He though was furious at Severus yet said nothing about this in front of Estelle anymore. He still believed he was a dark and horrible man but Estelle always yelled at him and argued with him so they dropped the topic in front of one another for now. Since Estelle was going through a tough time, the two put aside their disagreements and stayed by each others side. 

 "Come on, Es. You need to leave your bedroom sometimes." Elio shouted from behind Estelle's door while Estelle was curled up into her blankets. Today was a Saturday and she told her students to ask Professor Elio for any questions today as she was wanting a short break, so she had nothing else to do but dwell in her sadness. 

"I'm fine, leave me alone." She yelled, closing her eyes.

He huffed, "You need fresh air. Come with Neville and I to Hogsmeade, it'll be fun." He suggested to the closed door. When she didn't answer he rolled his eyes, threw his arms into the air and stormed away. He was growing frustrated with her and so what if she wanted to wallow in her bedroom alone? He didn't care anymore.

Estelle forwned, slightly guilty. But that feeling went away as quikly as it appeared and she felt perfectly happy to laze around in her room. Though....it proved to be boring and lonely after awhile. Estelle sat up and looked at her clock standing on her nightstand table. It was only after three in the afternoon. She sighed and got dressed.

For the past few weeks she ditched her unique and fun outfits and only ever wore black and simple and baggy clothes now, not finding the energy or enjoyment anymore in wearing crazy and new things. She changed and left her bedroom and the office. She glanced at the spiral staircase and decided some fresh air would be good right now. She climbed them and reached the top quickly, immediately noticing the blue and somewhat clouded sky. She went over to the railings and inhaled the fresh and crisp air, feeling a tiny bit better. But not much.

After watching the clouds for a bit she was about to leave but had caught some movement towards the lake. She glanced down and found someone by one of the trees and she had a strong sense of deja vu. She knew by the robes and hair immediately that it was Severus. She watched him while her heart pounded. He didn't move for awhile but it seemed he was satisfied and started trecking back up towards the castle. Estelle had a very strong urge to send him a note but thought against it. She frowned, her eyes blurring due to tears. She didn't let them fall though, not wanting to cry over something like this. So she held her head high and left the astronomy tower.