[YoonMin] You don't know what you have... || Cindy_Elric » vonlane

You don't know what you have...

"You don't know what you have until it's gone"

This seemed to be the mantra in charge of following Jimin his entire life; he began suspecting this ever since he was a kid when he lost a toy train because he didn't put attention to it despite it being his favorite toy. It had been too late when his mother had told him that she donated it to charity along with other toys he no longer used. That time, he cried all night along with recriminations against the woman and the orphans that would now be enjoying his precious treasure, then—being a kid of barely 5 years—he heard that logical phrase he didn't understand at the time for the first time.

"You don't know what you have until it's gone."

What was that supposed to mean? He had always known that that blue train was his favorite, he had always loved it and taken care of it a bit more than his other toys, that's why he avoided touching it a lot, why he never took it with him to school and when his friends came over, he never took it out of its packaging so he wouldn't have to share it. No, he kept that train in a perfect state and that, to his mother, translated as a lack of interest on the toy. But, who could blame her when her son always carried around his favorite toys and that train was never among them? Nobody could blame her, just that poor kid who had continued crying in the corner of his bedroom.

After getting a new train of the same characteristics as the previous one, the little one could go on calmly in life. Although a part of him knew that this was not his train, which is why he didn't have too much interest in it when one day, he lost it by accident and at that time, he didn't pay mind to his mother when she attacked him again with the same phrase as before because the loss didn't hurt him—because he knew what he had but this time, he didn't care to lose it. 

After that incident, Jimin was a bit more reluctant to having things he liked and if he had them, he began hiding them from his mother to avoid another tragedy, because he knew that the woman enjoyed getting rid of things she considered unnecessary to her home, giving away and donating everything that crossed her path even if it were not her property. He knew of this and with time, he learned to hide his 'treasures' from the generous hands of his mother. But what wasn't in Jimin's plans was that it wasn't just his mother who was after his things to take them away from him and much less was he aware that it wasn't only things that could be taken away from him because, with time, his tastes had extended and now, amongst his 'treasures', there weren't just material things, but living beings that had become his 'favorites' and he realized this at his 7 years of age.

Close to his school, there was a pet store he liked to frequent with his group of friends. The owner was a nice old lady who always let them play with her animals without any problems and Jimin was the most enthusiastic about visiting the shop because there was his little 'ball of cotton'—a small, white chubby hamster who always played with the boy whenever he visited it. To be honest, it didn't do much compared to the puppies or cats; the hamster only rolled around in its cage or ran on its wheel but that was enough to stamp a wide smile on the kid who softly tapped at the crystal that separated them. That little ball of fur was the sweetest thing the boy had ever seen and he liked seeing it run, sleep, and fill those little cheeks of his with seeds that he never knew if it ate them or not. The old woman many times offered to sell him the animal, even his mother, whom he had once dragged to the store, had allowed him to have him as a pet but even so, the boy denied buying it and taking it home, always politely replying with a "no thanks" to then leave, leaving behind the small animal in its cage. The truth was, he did want to take it home and have him, to take care of it and play with it all day but, he was scared. Scared that he might lose it in his bedroom that was almost always a mess. Of accidentally stepping on it and crushing it. Of forgetting to feed it once and have the poor thing die of starvation. He didn't feel sure about his abilities as caretaker and the thought of being guilty of his 'ball of cotton's' death terrified him. That's why he preferred to leave him in the store where he knew it would be well taken care of. Where he could visit anytime he wanted thanks to the old woman's kindness, where it could be free of any danger... but the only danger the animal was not free from was the love of another person, from the love of a little girl who was enamored by the hamster with said cheeks, buying it just before his daily visit to the store. When Jimin ran inside with his characteristical smile to give his ball of fur a good day, he saw that the crystal cage was empty. At first, he wanted to believe that his lazy friend was just sleeping in his small den but then, the old woman came by to tell him that she was sorry, but that his hamster had been bought by someone else and now he could never see him again. He cried... oh, how he cried that afternoon for his treasured almost-pet. His mother, in a fruitless attempt to console him, once again said to his face that phrase he so hated...