Fatty (ON HOLD!!)

Chapter four

Chapter 4

I'm staring at myself in the mirror once again. Ugly. Useless. Worthless. Stupid. Dumb. Fat. Obese. The words swirl around in my head, the voices of different bullies speaking them, my brain reinforcing it.

Why do I have to be so fat? So ugly?

I pinch back the blubber on my arm, so hard that it hurts. This is what a normal arm would look like on me, I think. I smack my huge thigh, and it jiggles from the impact. Thunder thighs and buffalo butt might make some girls cry and run away, but to me, it would practically be kind.

I pick up a strand of limp, dull brown hair. Why can't I have voluminous, lush, sleek hair like the actresses featured on magazine covers?

I push aside my flat bangs, revealing a field of acne on my forhead. I grimace and clip a pink clip to hold them back. I fasten a necklace around my barley there neck. I smooth some strawberry flavored lip gloss on my chapped lips. I wonder what I would look like in makeup. Would it make me beautiful, or only enhance my ugly features?

I open my eyes and take a good long look.

Look at myself, trying to look cute. It's pitiful. I look pathetic. I unclasp my bangs letting them fall back into place on my forehead and unhook the necklace that was practically choking me and wipe off the sheer pink gloss. What was I even trying to do? I'm ugly and fat no matter what.

" Liiiiinddddy! Bus is here!" Claire calls up at me. I sigh. At least Tara will be here. I rush down the stairs as fast as my stupid body will allow and without out even thinking, grab a muffin from the kitchen counter.

I'm on the bus just as the doors close. I stumble and step over carelessly placed feet in the aisle before coming to my usual seat. But not before tripping on some kid's shoelace.

Slowly I pick myself up to face the boy whose shoelaces probably could be tied a little tighter.

" Sorry," I mutter, turning beet red, not able to meet him in the eyes.

" Watch where you're going fat a**," some random kid yells across the bus.

" Don't listen to him," is all the boy says, before turning to his friend sitting next to him. I only glance at him. I turn even redder.

Sean. My crush.

God, why do I have to be so clumsy? Why can't I just be normal, I wonder back to my seat. Maybe Sean would actually like me if I wasn't so stupid, ugly and fat.

" Still blushing fatty?" A voice says next to me. I was so busy pondering my oh-so-deep thoughts outside the window that I failed to notice someone sat next to me. I turn and know that this can't be good. Ben.

" No," I say quickly. "Besides, that's Tara's seat. Get out." Ben makes huffing noises, pretending to try to get out but also pretending to be stuck. There's at least an extra inch, so I know he's faking it.

" If only I could get out," he smirks.

" Can't you just leave me alone for one day?" I snap, growing tired of his shenanigans.

" Shut up, worthless piece of crap," he answers me rudely. Do not snap Lindy, I tell myself. Do not cross the line. I want to make it through the day without crying for once.

" You know Ben," I say. I can't help myself. " You've messed with me  for three years now and still haven't bothered to learn my name. That's pretty low. Even for you." God! Why can't I just hold my tongue? Tara's daring spirit must've gotten to my head. Ben's eyes darken. 

" Because you don't need a name. You're not even an actual human being. You're a freak. A freak you hear me?" Ben tells me dangerously. I swallow hard and nod. Now's really not the time to talk back.

" Um excuse me, did someone say you could sit here?" Tara asks Ben rudely, appearing from nowhere. Ben stands up and smiles curtly.

" I was just leaving. But don't think for a moment uh, you, that you won't be untouched. Any friend of Lindy the fatty's an enemy of mine," he menaces. " You'll soon regret the day you sat next to her. Believe me, if you were too weak to stay at your old school, then you're definitely too weak to stay here." Tara only rolls her eyes, but I can tell she only does it to mask the worry sprouting up in them.

" Whatever. And besides, the name's Tara. Tare-uh." She says, exaggerating the uh sound in her name, pronouncing it slowly.

" Whatever Tare-uh," Ben replies, mimicking her tone and stands up, leaving back to his seat. Tara quickly sits down.

" Are you okay? What happened?"

" Nothing."

" Linda, please don't lie to me," she begs. I want to trust her, but I haven't trusted anyone in so long that I just can't quite confide in her. Yet. Hopefully I will someday though.

" I told you, it was nothing," I say again, forcing a smile. I can tell she doesn't believe me but doesn't press me any further. " Besides, are you okay, after yesterday on the bus...."

" Of course. I'm not letting some bully get to me like they did last time. Not again. I'm stronger this time around, and Ben or nobody is going to break me again. No one. And they shouldn't be able to break you any more," Tara tells me firmly. I love this girl now.

She's quenched my once dehydrated heart with the one thing that I so desperately need.

Hope.

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A/N: K, short chapter, I know, but I did enjoy writing this immensely, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Keep on reading, fanning and voting on! No new announcements so xoxo <3