Monologue(s)

Aerwyna Monologue

This is a monologue I wrote in the fall of 2018 for a theatre class I took with others where we successfully wrote a short but well-done play together. It is written from the perspective of the character I played, whose name is Aerwyna. She does not have a last name. She is a pagan, which in the world of the play we wrote is a person of Christian beliefs (or a person of another monotheistic religion). This monologue never made it into the play, but it greatly helped me to develop her character.

My mother always told me that, no matter how bad things got, no matter how unkind the world was to me, to never be unkind. She raised me to to do as much good in this world as I possibly could in my current life. She died when I was seven.

I like to think that I've stuck by her words, even through being taken in by the others in the village, even through being taught against the ways of my mother and my ancestors, even through being constantly watched by everyone to see if I would slip up. Being of pagan descent isn't exactly the best position to be in these days, if you catch my meaning. Every now and then, there is someone who will act vile towards me, but I never react. I never react.

I never react.

Never react. Never react. Never react.

Instead, I am kind. I am courteous. I am amiable.

Most everyone is kind to me, of course. I've lived with these people most of my life, and I know them inside and out by now. I know what upsets them and what keeps them happy, and all I've ever wanted to do is keep people happy. If I keep them happy for long enough, maybe they will forget about my bloodline and the traditions of the ancestors I should never have been told about. Maybe they will see me first, rather than seeing the little pagan girl who needed saving and conversion.

Maybe if I am kind enough, they will forget who I was and see who I am.

Words start to lose meaning if you repeat them over and over and over to yourself. Mother's words have been my life, my mantra. I've thought about them every day for the last decade.

And I think that I can finally feel their meaning beginning to slip away.