sambucky scenarios and unfortunate mishaps

blaming bucky

i saw this post that was like, what if people just told bucky he did all this crazy shit + killed 48933783 people as the winter soldier, & he would just believe them bc he don't know what da fuck goin on

and i came up w some scenarios.
i apologize for the following.

sam: so then his pants ripped, and all the candy fell out!

bucky: :D

sam: okay now u tell me a story about u

bucky: well i used to-

sam: remember that time when u were like... totally uncool.. and like assassinated the president or whatever?

bucky: ...i'm sorry, W H A T?

sam: who knew heads had the same consistency as grapefruits. hm. learn sumn new everyday

bucky: okay i'm gonna ask again.... what the FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

sam: wow i haven't seen u this confused since you wiped out the dodo bird species

bucky: ? ??? PLE SAE I DOTN KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKIGN ABOU T

sam:

bucky:

sam:

bucky: ,,,okay i'll admit 2 that one bc they're literally tiny turkeys that are ILLEGAL to eat????? sounds fake but okay. so i might've sort of eaten 3 in rebellion??? so what?

sam: bucky there were 3 dodos left on the fucking planet.

bucky: wait were there really jus 3 damn.. i kinda feel bad now... that's tough.. oops. anyway, didn't kill the president but go off i guess

sam: lying makes u go to hell but go off i guess

old ass steve, across the room: can someone please change my diaper i've been asking for 45 minutes—