NIQABI UNDER THE THORNS

Untold thoughts

Today is a very important day to all my friends some have started to cry to their extreme as if they have broke out of their emotions but i was dumb like a pudding and I don't know why im this way. So I preferred to stand at the balcony by looking at my friends.

Yes today was the last day of our school. And we didn't even know when we would be meeting again. I am too on a peak of crying and decided to stay away from my friends as i hate letting others know my weakness specially my friends. So as a remedy i started thinking of myself and what my brother was telling me since few months ago.  I was just thinking who I am? How have my life changed all these days? I dont remember when I started to wear hijab may be when I was 13. It seems to be few days before but time has flew and now even my school life has been over and this makes me feel  that I should be more matured and take own decisions in my life. I've put an advice which I was hearing for sometimes behind as I was not ready to take a decision where I was concentrating only in my studies and now I should think of it.

I feel so guilty that even though I was a hijabi I expose myself to non mahrams. The main attraction in a human is in their face. I clearly know that a woman exposing herself to ajnabi is considered as haram. When a man looks at a woman with lust first the sin comes to the woman then the sin goes to the man because it is the woman who made the man to be so.

So when my brother suggested me about niqab I was thinking about it. But  couldn't take a decision. Even though hijab covers all our awrath I feel incomplete. There is something that is not allowing me to do so. If I am a niqabi for sure my freedom is gonna be taken. If I go to university I would be isolated iI will not have friends. I am a person who participate in all competitions in school. Then if I go to university with a niqab people would discriminate and criticize me for  just wearing a small piece of cloth on my face.

Suddenly  I heard a familiar voice calling me from a distance Which made me to break  out of my thoughts to see from where the voice comes from. Oh it was my best friend. I promised her that I would wait for her near the canteen and I forgot. Ya Allah! Se is gonna kill me. She hugged me and started to sob I thought she is gonna reach the peak but it was a fake . With an annoying look ,
"Oh thanks for staying for me near the canteen"
"Its my pleasure" I mocked with the same tone
" so what are you doing here?"
"Just dreaming "
"Dreaming of____"
"Hey I got something for you" I opened my bag and gave her a gift that I made it by my own. She is the only friend of mine since our childhood. So I really wanted to give her something as a moment for thanking
She was surprised and thanked me for the gift. And I was too shocked when she opened her bag and took a parcel and gave it to me and told me to open it at home