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Chapter 25

Taryn's POV

When I get home from the hospital after visiting Natalie, I throw myself on the living room couch and cry.

This was all my fault. I shouldn't have yelled at her or told her I regretted her meeting Michael's half if the family. I shouldn't have said all the nasty things I did that I regret now more than ever. I can't help but feel that my only daughter is lying on her death bed all because of me. I'm such a terrible mother.

I sob into the couch for a good hour or so until I fall asleep. When I wake up, it's dark outside and I check the time. 4:03 AM. This is the time Natalie was born.

I try not to have bad thoughts or reminisce watching my daughter run away from me or the sight of her being hit. I cringe at the thought and cry some more. I stand from the couch and walk toward the stairs.

I stop at the bottom of the stairs and look down at the floor where Natalie fell to her knees when she first heard the news claim that Michael was dead. I stare at the spot as the memory consumes my brain and I wipe my face again. I finally bring myself to walk up the stairs to my room. I stop in the middle of the hallway and stare into Natalie's bedroom.

As many times as I tell myself not to go in there and torture myself more, I do it anyway. I slowly walk through the door and flip the light switch on. I look around the room and take in the sight of everything the way she left it. I walk over to her bed and sit. I remember how I came in here to comfort her after she heard the news. We had a small argument about her stepfather's passing.

"Sweetheart, I know how much this hurts. I know how hard it must be to lose someone so special. . ." I said. "No you don't!" she defended. "Yes, I do, Natalie Jane. Your father was very special to me."

I clutch my daughter's MJ pillow. I remember her throwing it at her wall just before I walked into her room. I look at her stereo and remember when I turned it on to calm her down. 

I gently set the pillow beside me and stand. I slowly walk over to the stereo and turn it on. I press the arrow button until I hit track 14, the press 'play'. As the music begins and Michael's voice fills the room, I can't help the tears that spill from my eyes again.

Another day has gone...
I'm still all alone...
How could this be?
You're not here with me.
You never said goodbye...
Someone tell me why,
Did you have to go?
And leave my world so cold?

Everyday I sit and ask myself,
How did love slip away?
Something whispers in my ear and says:
That you are not alone,
For I am here with you.
Though you're far away,
I am here to stay.

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart,
You're always in my heart.
But you are not alone.

I remember when Natalie first brought Blanket home. I was in the bathroom and didn't see him until I went upstairs to see which friend she had brought over. I hadn't seen him in over four years and the sight broke my heart and patched it up at the same time. I couldn't help but cry when I got down stairs after that. I was happy and concerned. What was he doing in Sacramento, anyway? The memory nearly brings me to my knees.

The fight we had shortly after broke my heart. And I know it broke hers too. I understand why she was so mad that I didn't tell her about Michael being her father or lying to her about having siblings.

I do feel bad, but I really do hope that she understands why I did it. Michael did, and I cannot count on both my hand or toes the amount of times I apologized to him for it. I didn't want her to remember him, because it would break my heart to pull them apart after they got so close. The decision still hurts me, but I did it for the good of everyone.

I know everything happens for a reason, and I am glad that Natalie met Blanket and the rest of their family. But then again, if she hadn't, then none of this would have happened. Her and I used to be very close—the best of friends—but ever since she met the other half of her family, we have been fighting constantly.

I know she would have found out about them sooner or later, and part of me is glad that it happened now, because it is getting somewhat resolved and she will know them longer; but the other part wishes that she would have found out about them when she was much older and more mature. 

. .. .

As the song finishes and the rest of the CD plays, I rock and sing myself to sleep on Natalie's bed. I feel as if nothing has changed and I have a dream that Michael, Natalie, Blanket and I are a family again.

(I'm so sorry about the late update, guys. My school's Homecoming football game was last night {28-20 we won! :D} and I had to stay at the stadium for another half hour to do clean up for my FCCLA club. {We got $150 donated to the club for doing it} and I got home pretty late. I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far and don't forget to vote and comment! Thank you all so much for reading, voting and commenting!)