Addicted

P.1

Addicted p.1;;

안녕하세요, Im yoongi, in fact..Min Yoon-gi, And i have a addiction of being hurt....and i love being hurt... It sounds crazy as how it looks but it really isn't such a big deal, though. My friend Taehyung, Kim Tae-Hyung, he's concerned about my addiction but im obviously not, Because i feel like it isn't such a huge problem or worry to be genuinely honest.

But as you know, My friend has been my friend since the beginning. He's my friend since i could remember. He lives in my town so i see him pretty often, he lives in Daegu and i do too. Taehyung is one-of-a-kind as you can say. Taehyung is pretty unique compared to all the other punks in the neighborhood...including me. Heh, hes something else. He is really soft person unlike me, im really cold-hearted, i guess. But I do come from a family living in a horrible neighborhood. So, its pretty expected to be this way although my eomma is really nice so i get the nice side from my eomma.

My dad, he left and ran away from the house a while ago, He ran away when i was only 4 years old having an Older brother, My brother Min Jun-ki, He—he was way wiser than me although he can be sometimes very childish but in that case put me as the more wiser person in that way. But yeah, my dad left and actually got ran over by a criminal and the criminal got away with it... it kind of made me mad...my dad was an alcoholic so i got the maddness from him.

it sounds real unreal, but, its the truth...my addiction began when i was 14~15 in middle school through university. Although you might think i was "Mature" in that age, I genuinely wasn't. I would get into fights, Skip classes sometimes the whole day, Get detention and more. I was a trouble-maker you could say.

I technically almost got kicked out of ELEMENTARY for hitting this boy that tripped over my friend back then that i had, But my friend left me after knowing i was a trouble maker or that i actually was a horrible person in general. I was only 10 at that moment. But, age at that time, didn't matter how much u got into trouble or not to be honest. The admins there didn't care how old or young you were if they were to discipline you in a good or bad way.

They really wouldn't and they didn't care at all. To be honest, at one point, i thought they just despise me, for how much bad discipline they gave me...Because...i was that bad of a student and person. Its sad to say, that, i was truly a horrible person to live on earth with so much trouble that i made. Its safe to say, i really, truuly, hate myself. And i'm not gonna change that...ever...because i just won't.

So, that being said, I started to get into fights in the university on purpose to only get beat up so i can feel better. Because when i didn't want ti fight, i'd get some beer or alcohol to get sober and cut myself with a razor or knife because...thats how i released all the pain holded by my thoughts and sadness...thats how i helped myself. And if you were wondering, while reading this...yes, i am depressed. There's nothing you can do though.

Its not as sad if you think about it, i got no one to talk to, no one to show how i feel or what i want to say out loud. Keep thinking that this is sad,,,go on but its only making nothing better. Its just making it worse.