This Is Me

The Big Change

After my brother left, reality hit me. For almost a month straight I cried. I really missed my brother, he was my other half. After that I was on my grind and then one day I ran away from home. It was all to much for me. My brother was taken away and my grandma was acting like everything was normal and I was by myself without my other half. I needed to talk to someone. So I ran away and let's just say it wasn't cute in the end. I was removed from the house as well. It was sad cuz no one could see my cries for help. So when I left o text my friends letting them know what happened. I had this one friend, her mom wanted me to stay with her 1. Because she knows how group homes can be & 2. She always wanted another daughter. So she took me in, I was, and still is, thankful. Because not anyone does that. After a while my grandma wanted me back but I didn't wanna go back. What was the point? She's just going to find a way to make me feel bad about this whole situation. Although my grandma has a mental illness she still knows right from wrong. As much as I asked for a therapist I didn't get one til it was to late. I have one now and she's nice. She listens to what I have to say and she gives me ideas to help me with my problems. She told me it's ok to be sad but I can't let my sadness take over. So I don't. I think about all the things that make me happy. It was hard growing up. I had blamed myself for my mother's death. I blamed myself for a lot of things. I blamed myself for being molested by a family friend. I blamed myself for being to developed at a young age but I couldn't control that so I tried starving myself to see if it would help. It didn't so I gave up and kept eating and I love my body now. I used to see myself as fat but I'm not, well that's what my friend say. But that's how I found out who I was. This is me.