SasuNaru Oneshot Collection

Found you (3)

I had always been alone, since I was a child. Being an orphan myself, I coped with the loneliness. Have I not, there was no telling what I would become. Loneliness, though they were dark and a burden, wasn't much an effect on me. My friends were always there to support me. I appreciated their effort of keeping me company. Yet, they were not with me everyday and at the moment like that; I had to be ready to deal the real life.

I locked my memories that I thought would make me weak. I swore on my life that I would never look at them. History had been done. To me, there was nothing else that I could've done to make my life all the better.

'I'll live', that was what I told myself every morning when I woke up from my sleep. The room was all mine. The scent, the pile of clothes building on the floor, the blanket, the drool on the mattress on the pillow; they were all mine. I would walk out from my den with one thought; I was going to face the day with courage. Courage that may mean nothing to many, but took a lot of effort to put them together for me. When problems occurred, I'll fake a smile. Among all the friends I had, only Sakura knew. Whenever she saw it, she would drag me out and let me breathe the fresh air. She knew my facade very well and she would let me have her for the night.

It felt good to know you weren't alone sometimes. Even when the heart wasn't shared, the touches, the skin was enough to make me feel hale and hearty. That was what we do whenever I was in need. She complied and I guess it was because she was in the same situation as me. That was why we wouldn't mind to have the night session of motivation, as I would like to call them.

Every time we did have sex together, I would always put on the Nickelback song, sex. It would play for hours, repeating again and again to keep me going. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew what I'm doing was wrong. I was using her to keep myself in check. It sounded like I wasn't able to control myself. When that thought occur, I would feel guilty.

When I felt guilty, I would be rougher. I couldn't help but to hurt her because the thought of her was hurting me. Still, we kept it going. No one was saying anything because sex was never a denial. Sex was a way of keeping yourself accompanied.

It didn't need heart, passion or love. It needed the animal, furious and anger.

I believed that thoroughly. I believed that because I knew through experience that love didn't exist. Or I thought it didn't.

"Naruto, are you there?" she poked me in the arm lazily. We were lying next to each other, catching the strength back. I tilted my head to see her sleepy face and she smiled at me. The friendly atmosphere was still hanging around us, even when we always ended up rooming for the night in the sweat smelled room.

"You want to talk?" I asked her. She looked like she had something to say. Being a good friend of her, I felt that it was my duty to listen to her trouble. Sakura wouldn't babble her problem to me, but if she kept it bottling up, it would burst. I couldn't allow that, so I listen. Looking at me with half lidded eyes, she nodded hesitantly. Then, she sat up and crossed her arm while keeping her eyes closed. When she opened her eyes, she suddenly leaned forward to stare at me, her nose scrunched.

"What are you doing?" I asked her shyly.

"Shh... I'm trying to find it!" She held both of my cheeks so that we would stay connected. I didn't bother asking. If she needed to stare at me for the whole night, I would let her, even if that would mean I would have an exhausting morning the next day. We stayed quiet like that for a while. When she finally pulled away, she just shook her head.

"What?"

"I can't see it in you", she said, sighing heavily.

"What's it?"