13+7+9+5+18= 1 DISCONTINUED

T.O.P

Band- Big Bang
Member- T.O.P
Type: Angst

I cant believe that all my hard work and dedication would lead me here. My name is Kim Jae-Hyuk. I have beena back up dancer for the kpop group bigbang since they debuted. I know all of the members very well. Daesung is like my older brother except he's younger than me. Senguri is like my little brother always annoying me and being there for me. Taeyang and GD are my best of all best friends..... Then there's T.O.P. I love him. Yes that might seem kind of weird considering the fact that I'm four years younger but I can't control who I love. I didn't just fall in love with him. I fell in love with EVERYTHING he does as well. The way he raps to the way he smiles with his band members. I love it all. The only thing I don't love about him is how he is dating someone else. A girl. He's straight. I'm not. He'll never except my love. He's been with her for years. They are perfect together. Not me and him not him and anyone else. No him and her were made for eachother. So I had to be the bigger person and stop leading myself on. I quit my job as a back up dancer. I blocked all of the members on my phone. I will give them their peace. I will simply become an old memory to them. A mere whisper in the back of their heads. I will always love him. He will never love me. I would make the decision to leave in this situation a 1000x over. But if it was diffrent I would stay. I would have confessed. But this isn't some fanfiction this is real life. And in real life you don't stay longer than you're needed.