Tell me all the things you meant to say, but didn't say cause you didn't know how.
Tell truly, did love me?
Tell me I'm wrong to question your sincerity.
Forgive the conclusion,
Be it just my delusion.
But actions speak, when words will not.
And yet, even those leave a wavered voice.
Sound unclear, true meaning intended left dead without mention.
My heart once was beating,
before abandoned, left broken and bleeding,
Hardly breathing, blood barely pumping.
Yet, feeling numb and unbarring.
I wish for the world I could stop caring!
For even though I loved what time I had with you,
I would give so much to forget.
To go back and do it over again.
So the hurt would go away,
So that it never could have existed,
So the imbedded pang in my chest would leave me alone,
So I could quit wishing for things differently.
So that I could stop saying I've never cried.
But in reality on some nights as a lay alone and the memories find a way in,
The tears swell in my eyes and I refuse to let them fall because I don't want to even let the darkness know how much I miss sitting next to you.
How much I miss when you'd simply stare at me and smile,
How much I miss holding your hand and you telling me you can feel my heartbeat in my palm,
Hugging goodbye which had you holding me for minutes on end
because we didn't want to part.
How much I miss your warmth as you wrap your arms around me to pull me into a kiss that would turn into kisses
giving your tongue time to say,
"I Love You," "You're beautiful,"
"I love you," "You're beautiful,"
"I love you..."
...What I wouldn't give to love you again...but what I wouldn't give to forget...
