A Soldier's Permission to Die

PROLOGUE

What is Future is But Prologue...

As the rain fell down in the early morning darkness, we both stood there frozen, not twenty paces apart, each with determination in our eyes. Each with our finger on a trigger.

Neither of us spoke.

My labored breathing emerged in rapid puffs...the fog of my breath forcing its way into the cold wet air- a smokey testament to the 100 yard dash I had just made across the grounds.

I had stopped on a dime. My gun sight was locked in. I had the drop on him for sure.

But then I saw it.

It was probable that he may not have heard me run up on him with all the noise from the rain, or maybe he was just too focused on the task of busting through the lock to notice my approach.

Yelling “Halt” had changed that in an instant.

He had spun. Stopped. Looked.

In letting go of his grasp on laser cutters, he had nearly missed slicing through his foot. They now lay half submerged in the mud beside the door.

That was his right hand.

In his left he grasped something else entirely. Small, block shaped. It was taped to his palm. I didn't understand what it was at first, but if he had been stupid enough to raise it when he had spun, I probably would have shot him instantly.

The backpack he was wearing had an odd shape to it; Lumpy and heavyset...the cross straps biting into his shoulders and chest sharply.

That was when I saw the wire.

It was thick and apple red. Wrapping around three times, it snaked down his left arm. I understood instantly.

The horror of one epiphany however was quickly trumped by the horror of another:

Recognition.

And there we stood...frozen in the icy rain.

30 seconds.

I began to regain my breath. This can't be happening.

Still no words.

He took his focus off my face for a moment to look down at my bare feet standing in a mud puddle, then back to the gun in my hand.

A camouflage bandana hung loosely down over his mouth, and above it, the eyes peered out with an angry resolve, but then quickly faded becoming unemotional, vacuous and blank. But still, in those eyes, there had been recognition.

He paused.

Slowly, he began to raise his right hand.

“I SAID HALT!” I jabbed the gun forward.

For a moment he stopped. Then, gradually shifting direction, he extended his left arm out to the side while at the same time his right hand slowly reached up and pulled the bandana down past his chin.

You know what this is?” He said calmly. “You know how this works right?”

I looked at his left hand. On the block was a trigger, His finger resting precariously upon it.

My eyes zoned back in on his.

“Yea”, I replied. “I know exactly what this is, ...and I know exactly how this is going to work”.

With my thumb, I flicked on the laser finder for effect. A small red dot appeared on his forehead.

“That door is blast proof.” I said “4 inch maximized synthetic steel. If you do it....”

I glanced at the lock. He was already through the casing when I had stopped him. Two seconds more and he would have been inside.

“...if you do it...we're dead...But no more than that, Just you and me.”

His eyes kept the vacant stare, but he began to accompany them with a grin.

“Your not going through that door” I said. “Just you and me, got it? That's it. No more. This mission is a fail, so there's no point in it. ...take your finger...off the trigger...”

His face suddenly flooded with anger...”IT'S NOT A FAIL!” He shouted. His left arm whipped around to point at me as if he really were holding a gun, and not something much worse.

“IT'S NOT A FAIL!” He repeated...paused for what seemed an eternity...and then switched back to a smile. “I mean, hey...I got one, didn't I?”

No time. This was happening.

I looked for him in those eyes, but he wasn't there. He was gone already. There was nothing to reach for inside. He was definitely gone...

'He's not going to die here because he already died out there' I thought to myself.

Maybe we both did.

My finger began to squeeze....“You have to do it....you have to...you...”

The lightening flashed.

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