Colton's Girl

Anticipation and insecurities

September 27th

--

"Shat!" Kayleigh exclaimed rummaging through her bag. "I cant find my fracking Thomas perfume!" She proceeded to dump out the entire contents of her bag onto the hotel bed.

"It's right here you moron." Jen said crossly as she grabbed the perfume off the desk in the corner.

"Oh yeah." Kayleigh said smiling. "I knew that." She grabbed the perfume then thoroughly sprayed herself with the strong scent. "What would i do without my favorite sister?" She said pulling jen in for a hug.

"Ew get off me botch." Jen said pushing her away.

"You're the botch, botch." She retaliated. I smiled into the mirror shaking my head at them. I mentally scolded myself once more for forgetting my altoid tin filled with my earrings. How could i be so forgetful. I rubbed my finger over the scar tissue on my ear and frowned to myself. I began picking myself apart, targeting in on all my flaws. My acne had started flaring up again recently. My cheeks were red and i ran my fingers over all the repulsive bumps on my face. I sighed to myself and grabbed my foundation primer. I applied it in small amounts on my cheeks, chin, nose and forehead. I rubbed it in until it was evenly applied then moved for the concealer stick. My hand knocked it off the edge of the bureau and i groaned. I looked at it for a couple seconds, willing it the come back to me. After coming to terms with the fact that that technique wasn't going to produce any fruitful results i retrieved it. I felt a pang of nerves in my stomach, and exhaled deeply to calm myself. I tuned in to my friends' conversation. Kayleigh was going on and on about how sexy Thomas was. I honestly couldn't blame her. The whole damn group is unnaturally attractive. My heart raced at the thought of meeting them; of meeting him. I continued applying my face makeup, finishing it off with blush and a little contouring. I wanted so badly to look good for him. I looked into the mirror at myself and was still displeased by what i saw. I looked dead. Mostly because i couldn't sleep at all with all the anticipation of the upcoming day. I began applying my eye makeup trying to make my blue eyes pop a little more. They were really my only redeeming feature. I was on the heavy side with a round face, absolutely no ass, untamable hair and big feet. I finally finished my eyeshadow and eyeliner and moved onto my lashes. I frowned a little more at how asymmetric they were. There had been and accident months before involving a cheap eyelash curler and it resulted in me losing half my eyelashes. They had grown back for the most part but still were slightly sparse on my left eye. I decided id need to spend extra attention on them today.

"Jesus, Alayna you take forever!" Kayleigh whined.

"Colton will never love me if i look homeless okay?" I said smiling at her. I slipped on the maxi dress i had laid out, pulling it over my sports bra and silk PJ pants. I wiggled out of the pants and swapped out my black nike sports bra for a pink and white striped Victoria's Secret one. I pulled the straps off my shoulder and tucked then into the cup of the bra, turning to look at myself in the full length mirror. The dress puckered in the middle of my chest and clung to my awkwardly high hips. I tried to smooth out the dress hoping when i walked it wouldn't show off all the extra "padding" i had on my body. I suddenly regretted my choice of attire. It didn't look nearly as good as i had remembered. I sighed for the thousandth time that morning and slipped on my white tennis shoes from walmart.

My phone buzzed on the table and said i had a message from my brother Joe. I smiled and picked up the phone swiping at the lock. The phone clicked open to reveal two audio files he had sent me. I put in one earbud and clicked on the file unsure of what he possibly could have sent me. Suddenly i heard a very low quality song playing with someone rapping along to a beat. I began laughing quietly. I couldn't even understand what the person was saying because of the poor quality.

A: what on earth did i just listen to? XD

J: Clint, Chris and I are working on Clints rap for golden goose. You're the first to hear it

A: Sweet! Haha

J: We're pretty ghetto

A: As ghetto as you can get at a christian college. Try not to rob any banks this week okay?

J: no promises

I laughed and clicked off my phone. I missed my brother. He'd spent the summer at college, working two jobs. I thought it was cool that he could support himself and all but I really had missed his company over the summer.

"Hellooooo" Kayleigh said waving a hand in front of me, pulling me out of my thoughts."Jeez what are you thinking about? Colton?.."

"Nah, i was thinkin' about my brother."

"Oh... Thats kinda weird but okay." She said giving me a questioning look.

"Not like that oh my god!" I said laughing

"Im so excited to see Thomas again!" She shrieked. She honestly was so in love with him it was funny at times. I remember the first time i had even heard of Midnight Red was through her. We were in Disney for a spring training program for softball through ESPN. She talked about them the whole week and by the end of it i never wanted to hear their names again. Then i ended up looking them up on youtube and well, once you enter a fandom there's no turning back. So that was that.

I reluctantly secured my hair with an elastic. I had straightened my normally curly/wavy hair and was not very pleased when i realized id have to put it up. It was disgustingly hot out. "For christ's sake its the end of september why is it like 80 degrees out. This is New England not fricking Florida." I scowled at no one in particular and stalked into the bathroom to brush my teeth for the fifth time since i had woken up. I was a nervous mess. I looked at my watch, struggling to read the time. I had never really been good at reading analog clocks. I finally gave up and found a digital in our room. It was only one o' clock. We weren't leaving till three. I threw myself down onto my cot and closes my eyes. I finally decided the try to get some rest. I laid on the cot cuddling with my pillow until sleep finally engulfed me.

--

I woke up to Kayleigh screeching. I blinked my eyes a few times trying to wake myself up. I truly was exhausted. I looked at the clock: 2:30. Well i may as well get up i can sleep in the car. I swung my legs over the cot and it groaned beneath me. I walked into the bathroom to check that i hadn't ruined my makeup and was relieved when i only found a few smudges from my bottom eyeliner. I was a restless sleeper and i always seem to mess up whatever makeup i have on. The next 20 minutes consisted of anxiety. Lots and lots of anxiety. Right before i left for the car i sprayed on some perfume. I literally coated my body in it, wanting it to last till the meet and greet. Kayleigh ran down the hallways shrieking and i followed behind her skipping. We got in the elevator and started singing take me home - quite out of pitch may i add- and smiled in anticipation of the show.

--

We were only in the car for about a minute when i felt a soft vibration on my leg. I turned my phone over and looked at the notification on my screen.

'@JoeyDiggsJr is now following you!' I let out a small gasp and looked down on the screen with wide eyes. "Oh my god. Oh my god Kayleigh Joey followed me!!" I jumped up and down a little in my seat.

"Oh my god yay, that means he's in a good mood!" She said smiling at her phone. I took a screenshot of the notification and wrote down the time and date in my notes app. I smiled a little wider and gazed out the window. The car crept slowly down the highway, the traffic slowing us down. The anxiety began to build in my stomach again. 'I really hate having anxiety.' I thought to myself. I put in my earbuds and played Blue Ocean Floor on repeat. I was instantly soothed a little bit. Kayleigh's mom and mom's boyfriend began arguing about something in the front seats so i turned up the volume. Finally, we rolled up to gate 4, this was it. It was time.