Help me

Love Bites

Man I should have known better, but back then I was too focused on looks. And let me tell you, This girl was a looker. Beautiful voice, Breasts the size of watermelons and a personality of a manipulator. Where did I go wrong? You tell me. February 26th 2016 is the date we started dating officially. Now keep in mind, at this time in my life I was 20 years old and trying to find that one girl that I could settle down with and start my life with. But instead I had to revamp my life after dealing with this one. 

She was perfect to me. Loved all the music I did. I grew up listening to Motley Crue, Skid Row, Scorpions. You name it, I listen to it. Hell I'm listening to GnR as I write this. Our movie interests were very similar too minus me not enjoying chickflicks as much as she did. I never understood the point of watching movies about fantasy relationships when in reality real relationships are hard work. It's learning to understand and learn how to communicate with your partner, which we did none of these things. Now at the time she had just turned 18, which for me I unintentionally dated girls that for some odd reason were always 2 years younger than me. Never got me anywhere but that's how it was. Her beautiful green eyes and super short brown hair were striking to me. Any word that came from her mouth just stunned me and put me under a spell that was almost soothing to the soul. She knew all the right things to say to me. Anything from compliments, which keep in mind I have SUUUUPER bad self image issues. Which people tell me I should not have them. Being 6 foot 1 and 140 pounds the majority of your life you tend to hate the way you look. But ill tell you this, Black makes me look damn good. She enjoyed video games as I did too! I grew up learning to play video games on my PlayStation growing up at the age of 4. I started with racing games. Having a passion for cars will do that to a young lady growing up in the 90s. So we would get on Xbox 360 together every night and play Forza Horizon 2 for hours and just cruise around the map like we were living in that world. I was always faster than her due to my knowledge of how to tune in game and make the fastest cars I could. She even enjoyed my favorite sport as she started to get into it with me. Hockey. I am a Minnesota Wild fanatic. Even my home internet is named "Crazy Wild Fan". Now that is some next level dedication, even if our team struggles for cup finals every year (crying inside).

All these things were amazing, and I questioned why things were so amazing. Until about three weeks into our relationship I started to get suspicious of it. She was still in HS during this time so before she would get back from school I'd go down to her mom's house before she got home and wait for her almost every other day. We were inseparable. Until one day, I went over and noticed something odd. Her laptop was on and open. She never left it on and open like that, It was usually with her at school. So I decided I would hop on it and browse the good ol' YouTube. Probably during that time I would watch ThatDudeInBlue. Amazing car reviews. So I was watching a Terminator Mustang review, when a message popped up on her laptop from a number that wasn't saved to her phone but it had appeared they were mid conversation. 

This is where shit hits the fan in my life for about 3 years. And where I learned that I was capable of enduring some major pain in my life.

So I decided to open the messages

"so when am I gonna see you again"? he asked my girl.

"Well, my boyfriend will be at a car show this weekend sooooo" She said.

Then when I was just thinking it was some friendship between this kid and her. A image pops up in the message feed. It shows him and her in bed naked, her chest exposed. Smiling. Looked like a post sex photo to me. 

My heart sank so fast.. and it actually is to this very moment. That'll tell you how much this hurt me. Because we had disappeared from each other's lives for two years after being a hookup. Which I should've known back then if she just wanted to hook up she was loyal. Can't turn a whore into a housewife. That's where my mistake started. About 30 minutes later she gets to her mother's house and I am there waiting, crying. Now keep in mind it is very hard for me to be emotional. I don't cry easy, never really have since my Grandmother (Mom's side) passed away. That one really broke me

She walks in as normal. Puts her backpack down next to her white old school desk her mom gave her. Looks at me and smiles.

"So is there something you need to tell me"? I ask while crying lightly still

"Uhm no, Baby what's wrong"? She asks

I then grab her laptop from underneath the bed and proceed to open up the messages.

My eyes shift towards her almost like a glare "So you mean to tell me you know nothing about this" I say in a agitated tone

"Baby those are from last summer, You know I would never hurt you after I fought so hard to find you again" She said, almost convincingly. 

"Oh ok, My bad I am sorry for making assumptions honey" I said as I stopped crying then and wiped my tears off my face.

We then proceeded to have sex for I believe a hour and a half until her mom came home. I was a fool for believing it. Because not only did she lie to me, she seduced me to make me forget about what was going on. Only until her best friend contacted me the next day stating that she had lied to me about how old the image was.. That's when my heart had hurt the most. After all, I was always super naïve. 

To be continued....