Leaning forward on her knees, she panted heavily. The image of that hand was burnt into her mind: filthy and scarred. Hastily, she swapped her dirty, common clothes for her pristine, crisp ones, making sure to brush her hair and wipe away any dirt from her hands. After deeming herself acceptable, Elizabeth high-tailed through the dusk, darkness seemingly closing in on her.
When she reached the mansion she could hardly breathe; because of both the running and the general ordeal. She felt as if the sky was collapsing on her, crushing her chest and forcing her down. Frantically, she tried to calm herself down, fully aware of the time and of her parents inevitable scolding for being out so late. Gathering herself, she reached to touch her face and when she took her hand away it was wet with a mixture of panicked tears and sweat. From behind her, she heard the crunching of pebbles beneath feet and she whipped round, eyes wild. A sigh of relief escaped her when she realised who it was: Justin, the gardener.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry miss, did I startle you?" Justin slipped off his hat and lowered his gaze, "how come you're out so late?" He cocked his head and raised one eyebrow. Elizabeth swallowed hard and tried to shake herself back to reality. She wrung her hands.
"Oh no, I - I must have simply dozed off on the grass at the bottom of the garden. It's so peaceful, I see why you like it out here. But it is late so I must be getting inside. Goodnight Justin," she replied daintily, nodding politely and carrying herself toward the door.
"Goodnight miss," he mumbled, dazed and confused. How did he not see her?
Quietly, Elizabeth slipped through the grand oak doors. The doorman, Fredrick, stood in the hall at his usual post. As he opened his mouth to greet her, she put a solemn finger up to her lips, knowing her parents would be curious if they had guests. He gave an understanding nod; this wasn't the first instance of her coming in late. He held himself with his usual professional demeanour, but a sly glint in his wistful eyes told the girl that he was on her side. Unlike the other times, however, the smirk was missing from her lips. Instead, a jitter seemed to live in her chest and she sent frightened glances toward the door. She shut it gently and leaned her weight against it for a moment longer than necessary, ensuring that it was shut tight. He furrowed his brow and was about to question her peculiar behaviour, but she had dumped the basket on the doormat and was already racing upstairs before a word could escape. He watched after her with concern. What on earth had shaken her up so much?
Once she was in her bedroom, Elizabeth practically collapsed on her bed. Her chest was still tight. Her head was pounding. Her hands trembled violently. Thousands of questions flooded her head until suddenly she felt like she was drowning in them. She swirled and sunk, sucked down into the depths of her worries, trying to kick up to the surface but everything was suffocating and the image of the arm in the forest kept floating past and she was taking in water. She couldn't breathe. Instinctively she threaded her hands through her hair and rocked herself back and forth, biting her lip hard enough to taste copper and trying her best to calm her breathing. She remembered Nonny telling her once to listen to her heartbeat, and that as long as that was going then everything was okay. Hot tears forced their way past her eyelids despite them being tightly clamped shut. After a while, she surfaced, gasping for air and treading water. She felt ragged and broken.
Exhausted and numb, she climbed into bed still in her day clothes. Soon she realised that she would have to change or she'd never hear the end of it from her mother, and slipped on her silk pyjamas instead. Crawling back into the refuge of her sheets, she let out a huge breath, feeling as though she had nothing left inside her. She stared at the high ceiling and made a rash decision that would impact her life forever.
She was going back in.
