heal me

prologue

"How are you feeling?"

Even though she's been asked that (what feels like) hundreds of times, Ally still doesn't know how to respond.

How am I feeling? she thinks. I wouldn't know. It doesn't really feel like I'm feeling anything at all. 

That's what she wants to say. But she doesn't. She just sits there and stares blankly at the man. 

He claims that he's there to help her. Emphasis on 'claims'. It doesn't feel like that to Ally. It feels as if he's trying to invade her mind and pick her apart and tell her what's wrong with her. 

She knows his intentions are good. She knows that. But she can't help but feel like he has no idea what he's talking about. After all, did his husband decide to wrap a rope around his neck and step off a chair?

His suit and short hair throws her off, too, but she knows it's ridiculous sounding, even for her.

She's aware that it's his business attire, but she can't help but feel disconnected from him.

After all, she's used to men with long hair, who wear jeans, and speak in what she refers to as a "yeehaw" accent. Who smell like smoke and musk. 

This man was definitely the opposite of that.

A British accent and Axe body spray? Really? 

He reminds her of Rez. That awful pig.

"Ally?"

She meets his eyes, but when she sees what she assumes is his attempt at empathy, she looks away. She can't stand him.

"Ally?"

His voice is more insistent this time and it pisses her off. How dare he try to pry into her life. How dare he.

Harry likes to bring up the five stages of grief a lot.

That's his name. Harry.

Like Harry Styles. Prince Harry. 

Was every British guy in the world named Harry? It sure seemed like it.

Ally used to think it was funny when she met him.

Used to are the key words. 

That was way back when, when Harry liked to say that she was in the first stage of grief, which was denial.

Denial was such a stupid way to put it, Ally thought.

It's not like she didn't know. She thought she had accepted it. She thought she had, until Harry had said the wrong thing and she had knocked over a vase and a stack of books in a fit of rage.

The next therapy session after that sure had been interesting.

Ally kind of liked having Harry scared of her. Maybe he wouldn't be so nosy if he thought she would punch a wall if he asked her how her day was.

"Ally, you've been sitting there for 45 minutes and we haven't gotten anywhere," he sighs, laying his pen down tiredly.

Had it already been that long?

When Ally looks at the clock, she sees that it is indeed 4:45.

She really should be going.

After all, she had a show tonight and she probably needed to get home in time to get ready.

Her makeup team would be texting her soon.

Ally stands up then and grabs her purse from the seat.

"Where do you think you're going?" Harry questions.

"Home," she snaps. 

"We still have 15 minutes left." He stands up as she opens the door, laying his notebook down on the coffee table.

"Well, I have 30 minutes to get home in time to get ready for my show tonight." She stops in the doorway, not bothering to look back at him. She had a feeling she wasn't coming back anytime soon. "Besides, it's not as if I need your permission to leave."

Ally slams the door as she goes, feeling a sense of accomplishment after telling him off.

As she walks down the hallway, she feels a buzz in her pocket.

Turns out it's Ramon.

Where are you baby girl? We need you back soon to get that pretty face of yours all done up.

On my way she texts back, smiling at what he said. It felt nice to have someone in her corner after all that had happened. She sometimes felt that she had a shortage of those nowadays.

~

surprise! grace actually got busy and uploaded a brand new story! i've been formulating this one in my mind for a couple of months, and i've been adding to it every now and then. yesterday i was determined to get it done, and i did. and i'm so proud. 

this isn't going to be a jackson x ally story if that's what you all are here for.

of course, there will be many jackson mentions and stuff like that, but this is a story focused on ally and her healing. i promise that i will try my best to make it worth your time, and maybe even something you enjoy!

this idea came to me when i was rewatching a star is born and saw ally singing "heal me". you can clearly see her interacting with her fans in that moment, and a thought struck me.

we get to see lady gaga herself interact with her fans all the time. she's known for being so sweet and open to them. but we hardly get to see ally interact with hers.

this story is about one special fan that ally meets. and i can't wait to share her story.

as always, i love knowing what you guys think, so please comment if you can!

- grace xx