What was love is gone

It's 2:29am and I have this feeling in my stomach that won't go away.

I woke up alone screaming your name, but I'm not alone.

I can feel the spirit in the room but I can't seem to find the body next to me. And where were you at 12 when I dropped to my knees on the bathroom floor crying because I don't hear your sweet sweet singing throughout the halls in our home anymore?

I'm yearning for your presence but I only have the air around me to comfort me.

You said you'd be there for me when I felt this way, but you chose to run away with the girl in the knee high socks and pleated skirts instead.

I hope when you take her back to the rickety old apartment, she notices the smell of the lilac perfume I wore that you loved so dearly.

And I hope that she see's the maps on your walls from where we wanted to travel, but notices the giant hearts I painted too because that's the only place we ever went.

And I hope that when you take her to bed tonight, she can feel my body imprinted into the mattress.

And I hope she feels uncomfortable knowing there was someone before her whom you loved so much.

Or I thought you loved me.

But maybe I'll still be here in the morning, waiting for you to come back.

But maybe I'll still be here in the morning painting my feelings onto the canvas into pretty sunsets or ocean waves when they really should be heart breaks written on a piece of lined paper.

But maybe I'll still be here in the morning laying on the bathroom floor. Then maybe you'll come back after she's left the rickety old apartment for the day.

And pack your things because you decided I should stop suffering from having a part of you here and a part of you gone.

And when you leave with all your things and the car, I'll still have your spirit.

And when you take her to bed tonight, I'll still be lying here on the bathroom floor contemplating the little life I have left, and take it away with that last slash to my side.

It's 2:51am and my spirit is with yours now, where it's truly meant to be.