The Black Mask

Kathryn Long sulked miserably to herself. She was a grown woman, sure, but that didn't mean she was immune to brooding. She hadn't been feeling very well of late. She couldn't quite name it but, for some reason, she was moody all the time. Anger and bitterness were the norm. The feeling of being trapped was incessant. Nothing she did offered up any joy or escape. It was like she was in an iron cell, nothing but endlessly gray walls to stare at all the time. It seemed that her own mind had turned against her, refusing to allow her to see any goodness and color in the world. Although she really did try to see the positives and even though she really did want to get better, nothing that she did ever helped. Instead, it felt like the harder she tried, the less she succeeded.

"Ugh!" her frustrated sigh filled her tiny old apartment. She buried her face in her pillow, punching her bed. She knew it was immature of her to lash out like that, but what else could she do? The medication wasn't working. The therapy wasn't working. The journaling wasn't working. The happy thoughts weren't working. Everything she tried failed. Everything she tried had no impact on her. Everything she tried only made her more miserable and hollow than when she'd started.

It was like there was a cloud hovering between her and her sun, but nothing would make the cloud dissipate. There was no wind to blow it away and the cloud never burst and rained, no matter how moody she felt. Instead, it was just always there, in the way, right there, distracting her and keeping her from seeing the good in the world. It was literally impossible for her to think positively. It was like her mind had been locked into a very tight and narrow crawlspace and could only move forward, except the road ahead was totally dark and endless.

"UGH!" she moaned even louder, rolling over onto her back to stare angrily up at the ceiling, chest heaving with anger. At least it was better than last night, when she hadn't felt anything at all. Last night had been rough, miserable and lonely. She had been unable to tell back then, was she getting so little done because she was depressed? Or was she depressed because she was getting so little done? It was like the "chicken-egg" paradox, except with more depression and less of an answer. Tonight, however, it was just bitter and smothering rage...

A couple months later, Kathryn found herself heading from the big city to a small town in the next state over to visit some distant relative, an aunt. The dates of her visit coincided with Halloween and, at her aunt's behest, she got a costume to participate.

"But Auntie!" she had first pleaded. "I'm too old for all that kiddie stuff! I'm 24!"

"And I'm 54, but I'm still going out!" her aunt had replied, whipping out a giant fairy dress. Kathryn had failed to hide a disgusted face, but instead of getting offended, her aunt only laughed and pushed her back out the door, pointing her in the direction of the nearest costume shop.

That evening, however, Kathryn found herself standing at a lonely little place at the very edge of town. It was a costume shop, and it was the only building on the entire block that was open. Undeterred by the creepy and lonely atmosphere of that section of town, however, Kathryn strode bravely inside. None of the masks up front were very scary or impressive, but then she noticed a back door. It wasn't labeled and Kathryn could already see other masks back there, so she assumed that they were fair game and walked right on in.

Ok. She would admit it. The masks back here were way cooler. They were almost enough to get her into the Halloween spirit! Almost...

"NO!" the shopkeeper bellowed at her as soon as she reached out to touch one of the masks that had caught her eyes. She whipped around then, heart suddenly exploding in fright. Then she turned cross.

"You didn't have to shout at me like that! I wasn't going to steal it!" she grunted as he stalked in angrily towards her.

"That was not my concern," the shopkeeper replied coldly, voice almost deadly. "You should not be back here."