paper planes | jjk

Chapter I

"When do you leave?"

I keep my eyes down, avoiding my boyfriend's worried gaze. I knew it would be hard to tell him but this hard. I've been dreading telling him the bad news all week but I finally realized it had to be done sooner than later.

I shift uncomfortably in the wooden cafe chair continuing to ignore Jaeyeon daggers for eyes. Instead I look out the window partially hiding my face with my sweater paws. For as long as we've been together, we've always sat at this table in this coffee shop as much as our schedules will permit.

"Six tomorrow," I gather enough enough courage to mumble just loud enough for Jaeyeon to hear.

"Six pm?" He offers.

"Six in the morning," I mumble even quieter.

"What? I won't even get to see you?" I notice he leans further across the table, his arm outstretched most likely looking for my hand to hold. I unwillingly jerk my hands make down to my lap so he can't grab them. He half laughs, half scoffs in disbelief, obviously hurt by my reaction. I try so hard not to shed a single tear and instead bite my lips hard enough to make me want to cry more. Eventually I break and lift my head up towards the ceiling still trying not to make eye contact with my boyfriend. I fling some hair out of my eyes and at last meet his gaze. He still looks very hurt and worried for both of us and I can't help but leak a few more tears.

"No," he state simply, my voice cracking. He leans back into his seat letting out a very quiet sigh. Distraught, he look down and scratched his face, then looks back up at me. I inhale very deeply.

"Will you call me before you get to the train station? And when you arrive so I know you're safe?"

"No," I say again.

"Why not--"

"We can't do this anymore."

His eyes widen to the size of the moon and he clenches his fists slightly. "Wha- What does that mean," he laughs watering eyes.

"We can't be together anymore Jaeyeon."

"Why- I don't-"

"I'm going to be in another city across the country for college in you're staying here for college, did you really think we would make it past senior year?"

He doesn't say a word. He only listens.

"I told you I wanted to go to Seoul and you said you wanted to stay in Busan with family and friends. And I said, 'well how are we going to manage when we're half a country apart?'," my voice cracks again, "and you said 'we'll manage'. I don't want to 'manage', I don't want to just give it a go, I don't think I can do that, honestly Jaeyeon."

He's absolutely silent for what seems like an eternity, until he finally responds. "So if i'm hearing this correctly, you're breaking up with me?"

I nod very slowly not wanting to drag the conversation out any longer.

He scoffs much louder this time and then laughs a little to himself. He immediately proceeds to stand up and grab his jacket from off the back of his chair and leaves out the door without another word. The cafe's door slams shut with a loud bang causing nearly everyone to look up in my direction. Without a second spared,I cross my arms and begin to sob uncontrollably into them. I feel everyone else look away awkwardly and attempt to resume their peaceful evening. I don't know how long I stayed like this, but it was long enough that the owner of the cafe decided to call a cab for me to take me home, in which by the time i finally plopped down on my own bed, it was already 9pm.