Demons Two.

five.

Hey :) Enjoy. Don't forget to comment! I read every single one and ilysm. Y'all be cracking me up, lol. 

Rakim

"I'm gon' pop these beans for you

Did that all just to show you

Why do I feel I fiend for you?

Brand new syrup, diamonds old school 

I got this high just to show you 

Niggas be fake, but that's what we go through"

I sung along to 4-U-City Girl by Lucki. The lyrics were depicting my literal emotions, and it felt like fuel to my high. 

I wasn't proud to be back on my bad habits, but being sober forces me to be alone with my thoughts. Being alone with my thoughts just forces me into a deeper sadness. But then again, sadness is inevitable. 

Besides Hope and my first born being gone, I was missin' Lotus like hell. I haven't been able to see her because she's been staying at Zoe and Clarence's place. I want to visit, but I've been laying low until I get more of a control on this whole situation. I want to hold her in my arms and watch Coraline, but I want her to be safe even more. 

I'm gon' pop these percs for you, even though you don't really want me to

"Finally here. It's show time." Zoe said as we entered the parking lot of the strip club. 

"Ight Zo, please don't act a fool when we get in here." Carti said. 

"Jordy I am the sweetest. Why are you telling me this?" Zoe said while batting her eyes. 

"Nah come on now. We all know you be on ten." Carti laughed. "Am I lying Rah?"

"No sir. I'm pretty sure we've all been cussed out by her." I chuckled. 

"Speak for yourself." Tyler interjected. "She loves me cause I know how to stay on her good side." 

"See, T get's it." Zoe smiled. 

"Man whatever, just stay focused baby girl." Carti said. Zoe smiled and blushed a little. Her smile faded once her phone started ringing. 

"Hello Clarence." She said dryly. 

I'm sure you are wondering where the hell Clarence has been, and the answer is school. We questioned him about Hope already, but his head has been so far up books that he forgot Hope even gave birth. School is obviously the only thing on his mental right now. It's clear that there is tension between him and Zoe, and I'm assuming it's over this. 

"What do you mean where am I? I'm out here looking for my family with people who actually care about what's going on around them. People who are selfless." She said. 

"I don't know Clarence. Mhm. Yea alright. Bye." She hung up the phone and scoffed. 

The car was in park, but her hands tightly gripped the wheel. Carti turned around in the passenger seat to look at me and Tyler in the back. We were giving each other that "So who gone talk to her?" look. I nodded my head, implying that I'd do it. Even though I am undeniably sad, Zoe has been there for me, for all of us really. She was there for Carti through the Iggy shit, and she was there for me when I couldn't get out of bed. She did all of this while still grieving herself. I may still be in a sunken place, but thanks to her I am still out here fighting for my girl. She's really been a sister to me, and I'm grateful.