Bottled up scars

Ari-Ella Knowles

                CHAPTER ONE

As Tara looks down at her baby she wishes that she wouldn't be leaving the little girl so soon. Tara's friend from her nursing school offered to take the girl until it was safe for her to begin the life of a mother when the time was right. Tara will return for her daughter stronger than ever.

"Excuse me ma'am what will you be naming your daughter?" the nurse asked with a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other.

Tara thought about what name will the young child carry, not only was Tara not planning on becoming a mum but when she found out she was expecting a child, she was over worried of Joshua finding out and beating her so much so Tara left for 6 months until she had her child instantly Tara knew her child was in good hands but can't wait until she is safe away from the abuse of her daughter's father, a name popped into Tara's head and she figured out what she was going to name her Angel for life.

"Uh I'm thinking Ari-Ella Angel Knowles" Tara said gently stroking her finger over her daughter's cheek memorizing the beautiful features her daughter has. Tara grew to wonder what the little girl will look like when she grew older.

"Okay so I'm just going to get the discharge papers so you and your daughter can leave the hospital" the nurse informed Tara, then quickly left the room when Tara thanked the young lady.

"Knock knock " a beautiful middle aged lady walked into the new mothers room, ready to take the child away.

"Hey" Tara said not looking up from the one she feels she is letting down she feels as though she has been given the beauty to have another life, she is taking it away completely from herself before she got the chance to consider herself a mum Tara had a hint of regret, hate, sadness, and pure torture in her she will never live this down abandoning her new born but their is only one other thing Tara can ask her friend.

"Hey Tara how are you?" the lady asked Tara, with sincere and sadness filled in the lady's voice.

Tara sniffled a little before looking up at the lady that is doing what she can to help keep this astonishing human being alive, the both mother and daughter have no idea what to expect from each other "I don't want to let her go. Cas promise me you'll tell her about me, show the girl photos take care of her for me?" Tara said with hope and sadness in her voice, as she begged her friend Cassandra to tell the mini Knowles about her mother Tara looked right into the girls eyes and said "she will grow to know I didn't do this on purpose and when I'm able to resurface my child, she will know everything about me she needs to know that her mother love's her and she didn't deserve to be left by the one that made her you got to make sure nothing happen's to this girl" Tara glared at the lady before her then put's her attention back on her baby.

"Tara I promise this girl will know you more than you'll expect I'll take care off her don't put yourself down because of what you are doing, you are doing what any mother in your position would do to protect the ones she loves". Cas assured her friend, Tara wasn't a bad mum for assuring the safety of a small beings life. Tara is responsible for the reason that's life is there and it'll bring joy to her soon.

Tara took in a deep breath and sighed closing her eyes Tara quietly said "thankyou Cassandra for doing this thankyou" by that point Tara had tears in her eyes, trying to stay strong but she can't because she is loosing the one she loved other than her high school sweetheart Mr Teller. Tara had to fend for herself build up the courage to say bye but never good bye because it wont be forever Tara will be back to raise her only daughter.

"Tara it's time" Cassandra said putting a hand softly on her friends shoulder reassuring her she was doing what's right.

"Okay let's do this before I change my mind" Tara replied with tears slipping down her cheek's, Tara went to the hospital bed and picking up her bag then making her way to her daughter. Tara strokes her finger on the little girls cheek one last time and bent down to leave the motherly kiss on her daughter's for head, then Tara said bye to her friend and left with another to return to Chicago without another thought of her daughter for that day. After then Tara is going to be putting on an act to survive, she is no longer happy because she no longer has love for Chicago but will stay and finish up so she can return to her daughter with the money and smartness of a doctor, to raise an amazing kid no matter what.

                                                                
12 years later

Tara was sitting at home enjoying the silence she was thinking about returning home, to Charming she put a restraining order against Joshua and he still don't know about his daughter but Tara refuses to say she is his, every week comes a new stack of photograph's and recordings, letters but everyday is the same three phone calls morning , lunch , bedtime are the times Tara would get the phone call from her daughter they would talk for hours, Cassandra has shown photos of Tara to Ari-Ella.
On some Friday's they'd meet up, Cassandra, Tara, Ella would go for lunch then to a park and say their byes for a week or so.

Tara was brought out of her thoughts when her phone started to ring she checked who it was calling her she found it being Cassandra, Tara questioned what was going on! It ain't the proper time for their phone call so with out thinking properly Tara answered the call.

"Cas what's going on? Why are you calling? Tara questioned with worry in her voice, what was this phone call about? why this time?

"Tara" Cassandra had no absolute idea how to tell her this, she promised to take care of her little girl and now she is giving her the news that no mother wants to hear.

"Yeah Cassandra what's going on? Is everything okay? Tell me something Cas". Tara questioned worry and annoyed, that her friend called her up out of the blue and is sounding super sad. What ever it is Tara just hoped it wasn't about her daughter or Cas and her husband.

"I'm so so sorry, Tara, I'm sorry" Cassandra said with tears streaming down her cheek's, she wished she didn't have to do this. But someone has to for the sake of this child and mother.

"Sorry for what Cas? Sorry for what"? At this point Tara had already started the fireworks, she don't even know why, she just has the gut feeling it has something to do with Cassandra, Ari-Ella or Cassandra's husband Ben. Either way it was starting to scare the shit out of Tara.

Cassandra took in a deep breath and exhaled, she was not ready at all but she can tell the worry laced on her friends voice, so she slowly started the sad story to what this call was about, "It's Ari-Ella Tara sh-she she is dead................