And Last on Today's Agenda...

The Universe was about to end. This was, as they say, 'it'. The boardroom fell quiet. 

'You can't just tell us the Universe is going to end, Stan, and then just sit down!' chairman Parkes barked. Parkes, though abrasive, overweight and often ruthless had a kind and fair air about him. 

'Well sir...you see...I really don't want to cause any trouble', Stan replied slumped in his chair wishing he had said nothing. Looking around the room at the other board members, Stan could see everyone biting their lips while hiding their faces like children in a classroom trying not to laugh. Stan was a timid man, not used to attention, never wanting it in fact. Most did not notice him, sometimes he did not even notice himself, and when anyone did, ridicule swiftly followed. 

Parkes leaned forward with a smirk on his face, gesturing to the leering faces around him and said confidently, 'Well, Stan my boy, I'd like to hear this tale of yours, I'm sure we all would.' 

Neville, a gaunt, sly bully of a man, stood up. 'I'm sure Stan means well, but really the pressure of the job must be getting to him. I did object, if you all recall, on these very grounds to him being brought into the boardroom in the first place.' 

'Now now, let the lad say his piece.' said Parkes, 'Even if it is the last time he speaks here. Go on son, the floor is yours.' Parkes sat down, waiting eagerly.  

There was a silence. Stan cleared his throat and finally, after an internal dialogue of shoving and pushing, plucked up the courage to address Parkes and the other suits. 'Well, sir... Mr Parkes, esteemed board members...' 

'Yes, yes.' Parkes interrupted, 'Just get to the point dear boy, I have a lunch with my wife in half an hour and she doesn't like me being late. Mrs Parkes is the only person that tells me what to do and when to do it.' Several board members broke rank, laughing loudly and then quickly returning to their previous disposition under the watchful eye of Mr Parkes. 

Stan started again, 'Well, as I said, the Universe I'm afraid has had it.' 

More laughter. 

Stan tried to ignore it, feeling the usual twinge of anger and frustration at his own lack of confidence, brought about by public speaking. 'Part of my duty as a science adviser for this company has been to oversee some of its current and future projects.' The room grew quiet. 'One of those projects has been to increase the efficiency of the Marsden space telescope. For those unfamiliar with this part of company business, the Marsden Telescope was launched nearly ten years ago. NASA built and launched the telescope into orbit while we won the contract to maintain it.' A few nods around the room were accompanied by several blank faces. The company had many fingers in many pies, keeping track of every deal proved difficult for even Mr Parkes. 

Stan continued, 'Well, what NASA doesn't know is that despite my objections the company uses this telescope for covert commercial purposes.' 

Parkes quickly intervened, frightened that some of the company's more questionable activities were about to be discussed in public. 'Now Stan, I'm not sure this is the place for...' 

'Well sir, you wanted me to tell you what is going on and this is exactly what I'm doing. It doesn't matter anyway as we will all be dead in about 12 hours.' 

The sound of those words struck a chord with Stan. 12 hours...  

You could now hear a pin drop in the boardroom; anxious frowns and murmurs replaced the mocking smiles and laughter that had seemed to haunt Stan throughout his life. 

'Please, Stan,' said Neville in his usual condescending tone, 'I must apologise to my fellow board members, Stan is known for his fantasist ways, but this time he has gone too far!'