Back To December

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

I'm in dread right now. I don't know what I'm going to do or go. My brain's out of control, I couldn't think straight because of my nervousness filling me in, and my heart racing abnormally. I just go forward and drive from wherever my mind takes me.

And then I heard what I fear most...

I gasp. It was just another nightmare. Looking at my clock, It was nearly six in the morning. I just sighed loudly and stared at the ceiling for a while. This nightmare has been showing up during my sleep. How could I possibly get it off my mind? Is it telling me that this is somehow my fault? That I should be guilty for what I did?

I shook it off. I have enough problems for days. To ease my stress, I let myself rest for a while.

*****

I was awoken by a text message. From him, I was shocked from hearing about him today. It's been months since we'd talked, and now here he is. I replied to his message and took a warm shower and get dressed for another day. As I was combing my hair, my phone beeped and a message came from him again. I replied: “sure, we could meet at the park if it's okay with you”.

My phone beeped again: “that'd be great”, he says.

Waiting from him at a wooden bench, I watch the fish swim around the pond randomly. The park truly is a peaceful place to stay. For me, this is the only place that I feel happy and great. I like the calm breeze and the quiet ambiance.

“Hey, Lauren!” a shout from a familiar voice brought me back from reality. I turned around and saw him. I smiled and waived from his distance and he jogged from my direction. “Hey, long time no see, Darren,” I say with a friendly smile. “I know, right?” he replied. “How have you been?” he says as he sat on the bench with me. I shrugged. “Yeah, it's still how I'm living.” I replied.

There was a long quiet pause from our conversation. And his face went dim. “I heard about the news...” he started and my heart beat in pace. How did he knew? Before I was about to ask him, he continued. “was it true?” he looked at me straight in my eyes. I was ready to say, 'no', because he won't handle the pain. But I saw grieve and concern in his eyes. By the way he looked at me right in my eyes, I know I shouldn't lie to him. “It is,” I looked down and began to face contact with the green grass around us. Another long pause from the conversation. I know that he's holding back the tears and pain inside him. “Why hadn't you told me this earlier?” I let out a sigh and looked at him. “Because I know that you won't handle the pain that it would bring.” I told him and now tears appear from my eyes. I wiped it off, but tears won't stop from falling. “I'm sorry,” I told him with a sob as I hugged him tightly. We shared the pain that we're holding on, and we weep together.

After the dramatic conversation, there was another long pause. “So, what happened?” He asked and I looked at him. “What?” I didn't get his question. “What happened from the incident?” He says briefly and I stared at him in shock. Was he serious? “You sure you could handle it?” I asked with concern, but he just rolled his eyes, “Come on, I'm not a ten year-old, Lauren. I'm a grown man.” he says impatiently, and I chuckled. “A grown man, you say?” Now he looks teased, like a kid with his candy stolen from him. “I'm older than you, sis, of course I'm a grown man!” he protests and I just let out a laugh and shook my head. “Oh, come on, stop laughing.” But I didn't listen, “A grown man, pf” I repeat again. I like how he's insulted. “Will you stop?” I laughed even more and say, “All right, all right” while stifling a laugh. He just glared at me but I made a face. “Oh come on. I'm just kidding,” Darren smiled playfully and nod, “I know, I know...”

Another long pause. “Jeez, can we stop these long pauses already? It's getting awkward,” I say, while he nods. “So what really happened?” he continued, not letting the question go. To be honest, I don't want him to know about it. It will hurt him so bad. But it's time to tell the truth... I think. But before I say anything, I inhaled and exhaled deep breaths. It'll make me cry, too. “Okay,” I start. “It was the first day of December...”

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