I spent another five minutes just examining every small detail of pain that left a scar on my body, I saw all the cuts but the thing is they weren’t all from Joel.
I ran my fingers along the cuts on my stomach and my wrists.
There was only one thing to say about them.
It was me.
It was my own fault.
I had permanently damaged my skin by slicing it. Purposely.
I had done this to myself.
Through all the bullying.
Through all the abuse.
There was one thing that was always there for me.
The blade of a razor.
The one thing I could count on.
How sad is that?
I have friends. Maybe not heaps but I have as many as I need.
I have a sister.
I had a school counsellor for pete’s sake!
And yet I felt drawn to using the blade.
And the sick thing was, that I liked to use the blade, in fact I enjoyed it.
It felt cool and smooth against my skin.
And it brought out calmness in me that nothing else could.
And it was my little secret.
Nobody knew. And nobody would find out.
…
I shook my head and breathed deeply bringing me out of my thoughts.
“Hold it together, Isis. Think about Faith… You need to be there for her. You understand? So go and get ready so you can go and make her some breakfast.” I said to myself with a whisper.
The day continued on as normal.
I had a shower to wash away as many of the thoughts that were nagging at my brain as I could. I washed my hair and conditioned it to leave it soft and smooth against my cheeks. When I hopped out of the shower I swiftly pulled on a bra and panties and proceeded to the sink to blow dried my hair. I then carefully brushed through all the knots that were entangled and brushed it up into a high ponytail with my hair tie and then put my blue school ribbon around the hair tie.
I took my school uniform off of the sink bench top. It consisted of a plain white short-sleeved collared business shirt that had the schools emblem on it, a red plaid skirt that reaches the knees, a small red bow with the same plaid pattern as the skirt, high black socks that reach half-way up your thighs or you could just wear black tights, and black lace up shoes.
Pulled the uniform on and yanked up my tights, whilst still being careful not to rip them and quickly applied a very light, barely visible, amount of foundation and quickly brushed on some mascara.
I quickly checked my appearance in the mirror, decided that I didn’t look completely awful and skipped out of the bathroom.
“Ohhhh Honey…” I said in a sing-song like voice.
“mrrmmmmmm…” Honey mumbled back rolling away from me.
“Come on Honey wake up.”
“Arrrgghhh…”
“HONEY PRIMROSE FITZGERALD GET OFF YOUR BUM AND GO GET READY!”
“Aahhhh!!! What was that for Isis!?”
“You wouldn’t wake up so you had to be woken up the hard way.”
“Arrgghh. Fine I’ll get up.”
“Thank you very much young lady. You go have a shower and I will go make your favourite breakfast.”
“Peanut butter and jam pancakes!?”
“Yep.” I said popping the ‘p’.
“Ok I’m going!” She said as she jumped out of our bed and grabbed her uniform and bolted straight into the bathroom, slamming the door on her way.
I chuckled to myself and walked out of the bedroom down the short wood-floored hallway and walked into the small living room/kitchen. I turned on the stove top and grabbed the pancake mix out of the cupboard along with the peanut butter and the strawberry jam.
I quickly made the pancakes and placed them on a plate just as Honey screamed from the bathroom,
“I can smell the pancakes sis!”
I then heard the bathroom door open and Honey’s feet pound across the floor as she ran towards the kitchen. She skidded to a halt in front of me as I held the plate of pancakes up in front of my chest.
“Sis?” She said quietly.
“Yes Hon?” I replied smirking.
“May I please please please have the pancakes now? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?” She whimpered staring longingly at the ceramic plate stacked up with pancakes slathered in peanut butter and jam, just the way she liked it.
“Mmmm… well… Alright fine.” I said with a giggle.
“Yay! Thank you Issy!” She said and did a little victory jump which only caused me to giggle more.
I handed her the plate and she skipped over to the small two seater table and sat down and started devouring the pancakes as I went to go make my cereal. I went to the cupboard and went through the cereals and picked out instantly the Frosty Flakes. I made my cereal and went to join my little sis at the table to find that she’d almost finished about half her pancakes. And it had only been about 4 minutes!
When she finished she yelled out, “My compliments to the chef, Isis Daniella Fitzgerald!”
Once I had finished up breakfast and packed up our backpacks with all of our heavy school bags and made our lunches.
We grabbed our stuff and we left.
I locked the door behind us and we headed off out of the apartment and walked down the stairs.
We came out of the complex and we grabbed each other’s hand and started skipping down the pavement, laughing together.
We finally stopped at the front gates and I gave her a huge hug.
“See you after school Honeybear.” I said to her with a smile.
“See you then Issy!” She smiled widely back at me.
I watched her walk over to her group of friends in the lunch area.
I then started making my way over to the lockers in the hallway and out of the corner of my eye I saw Joel begin to approach me.
A/N ooohhh... cliffy! hahah :P hope you like the chapter my snowflakes :) xx
