✓ 𝐊𝐏𝐎𝐏 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒, boyxboy.

049 | jeongcheol

⁀➷ jeongcheol (jeonghan & seungcheol from seventeen)

⁀➷ angst/fluff ending

⁀➷ requested

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM

jeonghan stood in front of the mirror in his small bathroom, staring at himself. he wore an empty expression, not feeling anything inside.

he felt cold, the darkness of the room engulfing him. his eyes had very prominent eye bags under them, and he felt so weak.

life had just been such a struggle for him. sure, he had an amazing boyfriend, and great fiends, but he was struggling, and none of that seemed to matter now.

jeonghan's eyes traveled down to a specific drawer, his fingers itching to open it. not being able to resist, he opened the drawer, his eyes meeting the sight of cold, depressing looking blades.

even though his eyes started getting teary, he ignored that, grabbing a blade.

he brought the small yet so powerful objet up to his face, looking at it closely. there was still a hint of dry blood on it.

sighing, he took the blade and brought it towards his forearm. it was so close, jeonghan could almost feel it inching towards him like a magnet. all of him was telling him to go for it. so he did.

he glided it through his skin, watching as red spilled from his forearm. he found it so beautiful. he knew it was wrong, yet it felt so good.

as he was about to make another cut, his phone went off. instantly, jeonghan recognized it as seungcheol's text tone.

he sighed wiping his wrist with a towel.

cheol 💞:
hey baby, i'm coming over. be there in five, i love you ❤️
seen 18:45 pm

me:
okay, love you too
seen 18:46 pm

shit, shit, shit, jeonghan thought. he quickly ran cold water over his wrists, wrapping a bandage around his forearm. he washed the blade, hiding it in the drawer.

running water in the sink, he got rid of the left over blood laying there. when he was done, he ran towards his closet, throwing on a thick oversized dark hoodie.

just as he finished, the doorbell rang, and jeonghan ran downstairs. he opened the door to see his boyfriend smiling at him.

"hey baby," seungcheol says, hugging jeonghan by holding him at the waist. "hey," the other answered, putting his arms loosely around his boyfriend's neck.

"what's that i feel on your arm, is it a bandage?" seungcheol suddenly questions. jeonghan suddenly freezes, panic taking him over.

he didn't think seungcheol would notice. "u-um, no. it's not," jeonghan tried denying in a rushed tone.

his boyfriend looked at him skeptically. "please, han, what happened?" seungcheol caringly said. "i-i..." jeonghan tried to say, but he felt a knot in his throat.

instead, he pulled his sleeve up. seungcheol looked confused for a second, then he saw light red almost passing through the fabric.

"h-han..." he started. "please don't tell me this is what i think it is," his boyfriend practically begged.

jeonghan couldn't deny and he started feeling tears forming in his eyes. his boyfriend looked at him, gasping lightly. he too, had tears starting to form.

slowly bringing his hand towards jeonghan's arm, he carefully took the bandage off.

once he saw what was lying underneath, he gasped. "jeonghan, why?" seungcheol asked, still in disbelief.

"i-i'm sorry, i thought i could hold back, but this time it proved to be too much. i just felt so useless and like i didn't belong anywhere. and i know you always tell me that if i need to talk to you, i can about anything. but, you would've just told me that i was perfect the way i am, or that i did belong here. that's just not right, and i'm sorry i'm hitting close to rock bottom, but i couldn't hold myself back..." jeonghan said, looking down in shame.

"baby, i know, life can be really hard sometimes, but there's other ways to feel better than self harming. and yeah, i told you to come to me, but i won't say you belong here or that you're not useless because i'm dating you. i truly believe that you belong here, and you'll find your place soon. if ever you feel like harming again, please talk to me. i don't care if i'm at work, or with friends or family, i'll do anything to make sure you're okay."

at that, jeonghan started to burst into tears. "i-i'm so sorry cheol. i promise to talk to you if i ever feel like cutting again," jeonghan said, tears still falling down his face.

seungcheol smiled, hugging his boyfriend tightly, making sure to tell him how much he loved him.

a/n: yes, i'm updaying again, because i don't have exams until tuesday. i hope you liked this oneshots, and i'm sorry if it's too sad :(