Coming Out

Chapter 1

I was awoken to the aggressive banging of plates in the kitchen, followed by frustrated muttering. It was my fifteenth birthday yesterday, and my parents had already forgotten that I had asked them to keep it together for me. Dad had promised not to drink, and Mom had promised to make sure that he didn't, obviously, both agreements had fallen through.

I sighed and shoved off the covers, letting the freezing air chill my body. I sat up and rubbed my face hard. This was the worst part of every day, when I had a fresh new start, and tried not to lose it with my parents. My older brother Cam helped, he kept his cool in every situation, and even put Dad in his place sometimes. Things would get a lot harder when he left for college. I stood and walked into the bathroom. It quieted the noises from downstairs, which had been gradually getting louder. I made eye contact with myself in the bathroom mirror, taking in my bed-headed black hair, and my deep-set emerald colored eyes, poised nicely above dark circles that indicated my many sleepless nights. I frowned at myself and turned away. It was a wonder I had gotten any sleep at all last night, considering the volume of my Father's drunken rampage that had occurred.

I heard glass shatter and I sped to get dressed and get out as soon as humanly possible.

"Just stop it already, Robert! Stop!'' I heard my mom screech as I was plowing down the stairs. She sounded mad, really mad. I debated going back upstairs.

"Esther, this isn't food! This is slop!" My dad's familiar slur from one too many beers was loud and clear, he was fuming.

"Well," Mom began, getting ready to retort and make dad even more livid than he already was, "It wouldn't be slop if you had gotten home when it was fresh last night! Where were you? At the bar? You can't keep doing this to our family Robert!"

I heard another glass shatter and I jumped. Screw this, I wasn't going in. I tore a slip of paper from my notebook and scribbled a quick note to Cam that I was walking to school. I signed, from Thomas, and placed it at the base of the stairs.

"I'll do whatever the hell I want! Now make me some edible food!" He roared, and I heard my mom scream in anger.

Their verbal brawl disappeared behind me as I slipped out the back door. I let out a breath that I hadn't been aware I was holding and started the short trek to school.

Dad hadn't always been like this, he used to give piggyback rides and make pancakes on Saturdays, he and mom actually liked each other, but he had been in the military, and one day something happened to him on a mission. He would never tell us what, but soon after he came back for good, he started drinking, he got angry, and suddenly home wasn't safe anymore.

"Hey! Tom!" My head snapped up at the sound of my nickname, I stopped and looked around for Honey, and saw her running up to me from down the street. Honey was my first friend, she was a good two years older than me, but she was the only person who really knew what was happening to me and Cam at home.

"Thanks for stopping." Honey panted, and stopped briefly to put her hands on her knees and catch her breath.

I smiled down at her mess of red curls, "No problem."

When she could finally breathe again, she pushed back her hair and looked over my shoulder, "Where's Cam?"

I smiled again, Honey had always liked Cam. Once, she had asked if it was ok with me that she liked him, and I couldn't have been happier. They would be absolutely perfect for each other. But she'd begged me not to tell Cam, saying that she would do it for herself when she was ready. After three years, she still wasn't ready.

I let out a short chuckle and started walking again, "Probably not out yet, my parents had a pretty bad fight this morning. I left before I even saw him."

"Oh. Are you ok?" She touched my arm lightly and I shrugged her off.

"It's fine." It wasn't fine, but I didn't want to bother her with my problems.

Honey patted my head and then tugged my arm forward into a quickened walking pace as she prattled on about the most recent gossip.

I was grateful for the change of topic and the fact that it seemed to take a shorter amount of time to get to school while we were talking.

When we reached the front gate, she unlatched herself from my arm and waved.

"See ya later kid!" she shouted over her shoulder.

"Bye!" I waved back and started towards my classroom.

I heard some of my classmates begin to whisper behind me.

"Would you look at that, Thomas has a hot junior girlfriend"

"I didn't think anybody would like that dork, especially not a cute girl like that."

They laughed and then faded away. I didn't pay attention to them, after all, I was treated like this regularly. They didn't even make me feel uncomfortable. Especially not with Honey. After all, I had never really liked girls, and I figured it was just because I'd never met the right one. Let them believe what they want to believe, it doesn't matter.

I tried to shove away the thought, but it came back. It's been fifteen years, and I've never liked a girl, is there something wrong with me?